Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou
by Tokyo Kitty
Summary: Ichimaru challenges Kira to be the assertive one in their relationship for once and decides to let Kira be the one to try and seduce him. Can Kira think of a good strategy to seduce his Taichou? Hilarity and lots of failure ensues. IchimaruxKira Yaoi.
1. Muddled Mondays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Muddled Mondays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or any part of Bleach. You can tell pretty easily as I'm pretty sure Kira and Ichimaru aren't the main characters of the real series.

A/N: It's been a super long time since I wrote anything!! First year of college really killed me but now that I'm finally done I can get back to writing again. Bleach is a pretty new thing for me. I've got a few fic ideas popping around my brain (especially for GinxIzuru) but I thought it'd be fun to start with a silly one before I get in to some of the more serious ones so I can get down Ichimaru's dialect and whatnot. Plus this idea wouldn't leave me alone. I like to believe their relationship is more than just creepy and has its silly moments too and this would represent one of those silly weeks. This is set before Ichigo and co. invades Seireitei and whatnot but there's no real specific timeline. I hope you enjoy it and laugh; I sure laughed a lot coming up with this idea.

Post Note: I will break my usual rule of not using Japanese suffixes and terms in fanfiction to use it in this　one due to the importance of its nuances in Bleach. I will refrain from writing full sentences in Japanese or using overly used phrases because I believe that does take away from the overall dialogue but the suffixes are in. For those who have only watched the series in English, here are a few simple translations:

_Taichou_: Captain (this is the Japanese term for err…all of the captains, I don't think the English calls them by anything else).

_Fukutaichou_: Vice-captain or Lieutentant, not sure what the English decided to call this. This would be the position of people like Kira, Renji or Hinamori.

_Reiatsu_: I think the English for this is "Spiritual Pressure" in Bleach this refers to the unique spiritual power signature that each shinigami possesses.

_-san_: Like English Mr./Mrs. It denotes a less personal relationship (do I even need to explain it? I figure most know…)

_-kun_: A title you tag on the end of people's names. It can be used to show a personal relationship or friendship. It can also be used as a pet name for significant others.

-_chan_: Used mostly for girls names but works like _kun._

_Haori: _Traditionally a shorter open cut kimono worn as a jacket. In Bleach this is the term for the white numbered jackets Captains wear.

0000

**Monday.**

It started out just like any work week in the Third Division. Kira arrived at his desk some time around 8:00 AM, diligently working on paperwork until Ichimaru-taichou sauntered in some time around 10:30 after a Captain's meeting. It was some time around 11:30 when Kira set down his brush, thinking about heading off to lunch to find Renji and Hinamori when Ichimaru poked his head into Kira's office.

"Izuru." He said slowly and Kira all but fell out of his chair having not heard nor felt his captain approaching.

He quickly straightened his desk, sitting up properly in his chair. "G-good morning, Ichimaru-taichou…. Was there something you needed?"

"Nah, not really. I just poked ma head in fer a minute an here ya are…all day dreamin and stuff. Yer work all done then?" He asked moving slowly across the room until he was right in front of the blond, one hand leaning on the edge of his vice-captain's desk.

"Not quite yet sir, I have a few more papers still." His eyes turned away from Ichimaru as he approached, focusing his gaze at the papers still sitting on his desk.

"Really? Looks like yer done ta me…" Ichimaru said flashing Kira a crooked smirk.

Kira looked slightly confused and lifted up the small pile of undone documents on his desk as proof. "T-taichou, I've still got these to-"

Ichimaru knocked the documents out of his hand and they fell to the floor in a rather loud disorderly pile. Kira looked stunned for a moment at Ichimaru and then at the documents on the floor. He was about to lean down and pick them back up when Ichimaru grabbed his wrist and held it fast.

"Nah, I think yer quite done wit yer work fer now, Izuru." He crooned long, pale fingers stroking the back of his hand slowly and suggestively.

Kira shivered at the use of his first name, which felt like a greater luxury than its usage to get his attention earlier. "T-taichou, I really should finish those papers…I am supposed to meet Abarai-kun and Hinamori-kun for lunch." Ichimaru's grin faltered a little bit, his curved eyes growing a little more serious. Kira back-pedaled. "Well I mean that is if they're done with their work too. Maybe they're overloaded with paperwork too…"

"Tha's more like it my lil' Izuru." He smiled again, still holding tightly with a near vice-grip on Kira's hand as he moved around the desk. Kira moved his chair back automatically to allow Ichimaru room. He leaned down until he was mere inches away from his face in front of Kira. His eyes slanted open just slightly and Kira sucked in his breath a little, knowing that predatory look well. "This is more like wat ya want anyway, izn't it, Izuru?" Kira couldn't respond verbally. He nodded lightly, long blond bang bobbing a little with his nod.

When Ichimaru did finally kiss him, Kira couldn't repress the groan that escaped his lips. He could feel the slant of Ichimaru's smirk against his mouth as his tongue pushed into his subordinate's mouth, exploring familiar territory. Kira's hand reached around his captain to grab hold of the fabric of Ichimaru's captain's haori, urging him on. Ichimaru broke the kiss, instead moving to the shell of Kira's ear where he bit lightly on the sensitive skin. Kira's breath quickened and when Ichimaru finally let go of his other hand, Kira instantly clung to the front of Ichimaru's robes, trying to bring him closer.

Ichimaru chuckled lightly, a deep husky sound that made Kira shiver again. He traced the shape of Kira's ear with his tongue, reveling in the whimpering sound Kira made. "Ya want it bad, dontcha, Izuru…" He said barely above a whisper into Kira's ear. The blond's head rolled back and he gave a quiet yes. Ichimaru moved down to Kira's exposed neck, pushing Kira's robes away a bit from his shoulder. " 'Course there's a problem wit all o' this…."

Kira opened his eyes again shooting Ichimaru a confused look but the white haired man continued. "Ya make it all too easy on me, Izuru~" his hand trailed down Kira's chest slowly as he talked, "but I'm always da one doin' all the work ya see." He accentuated the end of his sentence by brushing his palm hard over Kira's crotch eliciting a loud groan. "See, yer so hard already, but wat about me, eh lil' Izuru? Ya never try very hard ta please me."

Kira balked, pulling away slightly. "That's not true, Taichou! I will always try to please you!!" He responded quickly, trying to urge Ichimaru to continue his ministration by moving his hands down to Ichimaru's hips, but the older man was already backing away.

"I don' think ya really understand what I'm tryin to say, Izuru….Maybe ya should be the one ta have to lay the moves on me fer once, eh? Pull yer own weight is what I mean." He folded his arms in his sleeves, much to Kira's displeasure hiding pale, beautiful hands under layers of fabric.

Kira's head was swimming and he couldn't hide the expression of pure panic now etched onto face. "Please sir! Give me another chance, I promise I can please you in any way you desire!"

"I'm not so sure 'bout that, Izuru~ Perhaps you should think 'bout wat it is ya really wan' over tha' paperwork yer so concerned 'bout or lunch with Abarai-san or Hinamori-chan. I'll leave ya to it then, eh? Bye Bye~" He waved nonchalantly over his shoulder.

Kira tried to stop him but it was too late. Ichimaru disappeared into his office, shutting the door behind him. Kira knew better than to follow him. He sighed, trying to right his clothes again, wondering exactly what he'd done this time to warrant this kind of treatment.

He stood from his desk resolving that he could at least try to enjoy lunch with his friends. He would do something about Ichimaru later, but how to seduce his captain who was practically a walking example of sex appeal and seduction to him to the point where his mere presence made speaking difficult? Surely he, Kira Izuru, couldn't even hope to make himself seductive enough to attract such a person.

Kira straightened his clothes one more time before heading out the door. So much for 'another normal week in Seireitei'.

This was _not_ going to be easy.

0000

Kira hadn't been able to find his friends at lunch. They had probably been there earlier wondering where he was and then left when he hadn't shown up. Kira had finished eating a quiet lunch alone and was now heading out of the dining area when he felt an all too familiar reiatsu approaching.

Or really he felt the person's chest long before he felt the actual reiatsu.

"Mastumoto-san!" Kira choked out in surprise as the older woman hugged him from behind.

"Kira-kun! It's been a while! How long has it been since we last went out drinking? We really need to do that again…" She finally released him and Kira was thankful she had hugged him from behind. Hugging the well-endowed woman from the front always made him feel awkward because he wasn't exactly sure where to stand, or put his hands for that matter.

"It has been a while Matsumoto-san. I wish I had time to but there's really some paperwork I should be finishing up back in the Third division…."

"Oh don't be such a hard ass Kira!" She smacked him hard on the back and Kira coughed as the wind was knocked out of him. Matsumoto had never really known her own strength and Kira thought she always had a rather drunken carelessness about her….Maybe she was really always drinking. "Forget about all that paperwork, Gin can take care of it, there's really no point to all those useless documents anyway."

Kira really didn't want to go back to the office anyway, so he willingly let himself be dragged off by Matsumoto back to the Tenth Division. They passed Hitsugaya-taichou along the way, Matsumoto explaining they were going off to get drunk. Hitsugaya sputtered and yelled at her something about it being sloppy to get drunk before the work day was even over. He only noticed Kira being dragged off when the blond started apologizing profusely for the disturbance.

Ten minutes and yet another captain angry at him later; Kira was sitting with Matsumoto on the deck outside the Tenth Division, a sake cup in his hand and a large flask between them. Another thirty minutes went by and he and Matsumoto were now well on their way to being drunk, Matsumoto having procured another completely full flask from God knows where.

"Ya seem down today, Kira. Not tha' ya don't usually seem down…Jus' more than usual…." Matsumoto slurred her words together, haphazardly filling her own cup again and then topping off Kira's.

Kira took another long drink. "Mah, it's nothing…Ichimaru-taichou's just got me down is all." He said slowly. He wasn't as drunk as Matsumoto thought he was; he was more plying it up for her benefit. He wasn't drunk enough to let anything slip; Kira knew Matsumoto had liked Ichimaru since she was young and knew better than to say too much about his relationship with his Captain.

"Ah! That man, I swear…he just causes all sorts of troubles. Don't let him get you down too much, Kira-kun." She downed the rest of her cup and poured another right away. Kira was always surprised at how much sake the woman could take. She must have drunk nearly double the amount Kira had, not that he'd really been counting.

"Yeah, I'll try." He looked up at the sky thoughtfully; the sun was setting behind the high walls of Seireitei although the sky was still mostly blue. "I really should be getting back to work though…." He said lamely, even though it was well past usual work hours. He stood, handing the cup back to Matsumoto.

"Ah well, guess all good things gotta come to an end." She got up too, dusting herself off despite a lack of dirt present on her robes. "Here though, at least take this with ya for good measure." She produced another even bigger jug of sake out of thin air, handing it to Kira. He really needed to learn where she was storing all this stuff. He nodded with a smile and bowed politely before turning to walk back to the Third Division. He walked the first fifty feet or so, before deciding to hurry up and break off into a jog. Matsumoto chuckled lightly, plopping back down on the porch and picking up her cup again.

"That kid, wonder what really's going on. He never says too much, even drunk…." She pondered out loud pouring another drink.

"MATSUMOTO!" The booming voice of her young Captain could be described as nothing but terrifying and she dropped her cup, spilling all over her hakama and the porch. "Would you stop drinking already and get in here and finish up this goddamn paperwork!"

She turned a bit; Hitsugaya wasn't standing in the doorway although it had sounded like he was right there. Could he really sound that loud all the way from his office? "Ya sure you don't want to join me Hitsugaya-taichou? I won't tell any one since you're underage 'n all-" She never got to finish her sentence as a huge chunk of ice came hurtling through the open door and smashed into the tree directly behind her.

"Okay, okay, so you're not jokin,' I'm coming…." She stood, leaving the sake cups and flask on the porch, she would be back later after she had taken care of what ever her short-tempered Captain wanted done.

0000

Kira arrived back at the office just as the sun had sunk below the walls turning the sky bright reds and purples. He sat down at his desk frowning at the renewed stack of paper work. As he started to read over the first few pages he realized that these papers had been on Ichimaru's desk earlier. He sighed as there really wasn't much he could do about it and continued to read through the documents, determined to finish some time before midnight.

The sky had turned dark as he was just finishing up the last one when he felt Ichimaru's reiatsu approaching. Strange, since Ichimaru usually masked his presence entirely but Kira did not think much of it. The door to his office opened and Ichimaru walked in.

"Wha's this? Ya workin so late, Izuru. Such a good lil' boy ya are. Such a diligent fukutaichou." He crooned and even if it was a compliment, it really didn't sound like one.

"Matsumoto-san asked me to go drinking with her earlier this afternoon. I had to come back though and finish this paperwork left here on my desk." Kira responded trying to subtly hint that there _hadn't_ been this much work on his desk _before_ he'd left.

"Hmm, strange how tha' all got there, righ'?" Ichimaru said playing dumb as he ran his hand over the now done pile of paperwork. "But drinkin' away yer whole afternoon wit' Rangiku-san, sure sounds like a lot o' fun…"

It was then that an idea occurred to Kira. Matsumoto had given him that giant jug of sake. He recalled pure as day what Ichimaru had said to him earlier and wondered if maybe, just maybe, if he could get Ichimaru-taichou even a little bit drunk maybe he'd seem like a little bit of an easier target to seduce. If nothing else, the sake might give him a little of the liquid courage that he desperately needed.

"Actually Ichimaru-taichou," he began looking down at his desk instead of looking directly at Ichimaru. "Maybe you would like to join me for a drink? Matsumoto-san gave me some sake and it would be a shame to see it go to waste. Certainly I couldn't drink it all on my own."

Ichimaru's expression was one of general intrigue. "What an interestin' idea ya got there, Izuru. Not sure we ever shared a drink b'fore." He looked up as if in deep contemplation. " Migh' not be such a bad idea." Ichimaru smirked, his eyes straightening into a more serious expression. "Good way ta end such a hard day, eh?" He added, the extra meaning to his comment certainly effecting Kira.

He had foolishly suggested that they drink inside, more specifically in Ichimaru's chambers because the nights in Seireitei during the spring were always cold. So now they were in his lounge area on the floor, drinking sake under solely the moonlight. Or rather Ichimaru was drinking while Kira carefully counted his drinks so as not to become too drunk. He took quick glances over at Ichimaru, dutifully refilling his cup when it got too low and admiring how stunning his captain looked in the silver moonlight streaming through the high-placed window.

"Yer barely drinkin' a thing, Izuru. Ya already drink too much with Rangiku-san and now ya don' want to overdo it, tha' it?" Ichimaru asked, setting down his sake cup and looking directly at Kira.

Kira quickly looked away, staring down at his still full cup. "No, that's not it, Ichimaru-taichou. I just-…about what you said earlier…."

"Oh, ya still on 'bout that Izuru? Well…" He leaned over more, craning his neck around so his face was right in front of Kira's leaving the blond no way to evade his gaze. "I meant wha' I said earlia'. So ya might as well not worry 'bout it an' get on wit' the show, eh? Ya wan' some more sake,Izuru?"

Kira nodded slowly and took a long drink, nearly swallowing all of what was in his cup. "Tha's a good boy, Izuru. Ya always do jus' wha' I say…" Ichimaru drawled, picking up the jug and pouring Kira some more. They continued to drink in near silence for a little while longer. He let Ichimaru take over pouring drinks until he'd all but lost count how much he had drunk. He was just starting to think that maybe now would be a good time to try his hand at seducing his Captain. He tried to sit up from his relaxed position to move closer to Ichimaru but his hand collapsed out from under him and everything went black.

Ichimaru looked over, smile gone from his face. Upon seeing Kira passed out on his floor his smile returned. "Aw, ma lil' Izuru…ya never could hold yer alcohol very well could ya? Better luck to ya tomorrow maybe." He shrugged and brushed bangs away from Kira's face affectionately. "Tha' is if ya can survive the headache yer gonna have when ya wake up…" He chuckled lightly and stood up then leaned back down to pick Kira up effortlessly and carried him back to the other side of Third Division to where Kira's room was.

0000

A/N: Alright so that's the end of Monday. I was originally going to write this all as one fic but my ideas got really flushed out and now there's enough material to write this into several chapters. Just hang on for the ride and I promise it's about to get more ridiculous and hysterical. I apologize to all Rangiku or Hitsugaya fans, I don't hate them, I just have really specific ideas about their characters and for the sake of this humor fic I'm playing up the goofiness of them. Ever since I realized Hitsugaya was the same voice actor as Edward Elric from FMA in Japanese I've kinda been unable to separate the two's characters so if he seems a little random let's just chalk it up to that's how he usually is when he isn't being hyper serious and spouting things about the doom of Seireitei. Anyway, stay tuned for Tuesday (and possibly Wednesday) of Kira's Horrible Week from Hell!


	2. Tense Tuesdays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Tense Tuesdays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach or any characters. See chapter 1 for more creative disclaimer.

A/N: So I officially love this story. It's common that I love the idea before I write it, but it's a rare fic that I still love after doing most of the creative leg-work for. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my stories and plot ideas like children. But I'd be the kind of mother that _definitely_ plays favorites. Regardless, starting with this chapter I'll have a little less time to work on everything because of work, though it probably won't greatly impede me since this story is flowing like water. Hopefully everyone likes it thus far (guess you wouldn't be reading chapter 2 if you didn't) but please stick with it, I promise this is one project I'm not abandoning. Though be forewarned, this one starts out rather err…abruptly. Enjoy!

Post Note: Have some more Japanese vocabulary.

_Haori_: A sort of coat worn over more traditional Japanese clothing. This is the term used for the captain's white robe-like coats

_Hakama_: Refers to the big pants all of the shinigami wear. They are not skirts, its pants trust me.

_Shinigami_: Death Gods technically as my kanji tells me. In Bleach they are translated as Soul Reapers.

_Seireitei_: "Court of Pure Souls" in English. This is the place all the Shinigami live.

_Tatami_: A straw mat used in traditional Japanese furnishing as flooring.

0000

Searing hot kisses covered Kira's back and above the din of rhythmic slapping of skin together Kira could hear his own moans punctuated with a heavy exhalation of breath every once in a while from Ichimaru.

"Please, I can't take much more Taichou…" Kira said in-between gasps as Ichimaru's fingernails dug harder into his thin hips.

"Whaddya want, Izuru? Say it ta me…" Ichimaru crooned, leaning over Kira's curved back to place small nips on the blond's shoulder blade. One hand that wasn't bracing his weight wrapped around Kira's chest, pinching one nipple harshly.

Kira whimpered his response arching into the much welcome pain-laced pleasure. He was reduced to breathing harshly trying to regain enough mental process to properly answer, all the while Ichimaru's pace of taking him did not slow. "Anything…please just touch me." He begged not at all above doing so since it usually riled Ichimaru up all the more.

"Ya always ask so nicely Izuru. Say my name and maybe I'll be nice too." His hand continued to torture Kira's nipples, his pace slowing a little to allow Kira to answer.

"Ichimaru-tai-ahh!" Kira's answer was cut of by a severely hard thrust and Ichimaru's nails scratching hard down his chest.

"Tha's not what I mean an' you know it." His pace was now brutally hard and Kira was panting hard now from the quick change. "Yer tryin' my patience, Izuru. Ya know I don' like tha.."

"Touch me..P-please….Gin." Kira's voice was low, barely above a whisper, but he could feel more than see Ichimaru's smirk near his shoulder.

"Tha's more like it. All ya gotta do iz ask…" His pace quickened again to a rapid in and out motion, hand moving down to Kira's cock to begin stroking it at a leisurely pace. "An' now I'm gonna make ya scream it."

"GIN!!" He yelled out and sat straight up in bed, covered in sweat and immediately fell back down. His head throbbed unbelievably, probably no thanks to the large amount of sake he had consumed the previous day. Did that make it Tuesday then? His hand went to his forehead, wiping the sweat away. That was the first time in a good while that he'd had a dream like that.

It was then that he noticed he was completely naked; there were his clothes, in a neat folded pile on the other side of the room. But that made no sense, the only time he ever slept naked was when he had been with Ichimaru. Truthfully he couldn't even remember going to bed last night—did that mean that the dream had been real? Kira looked over at the space next to him but instead of finding his captain or traces that the other man had been sleeping there was a note written in Ichimaru's pristine, curly handwriting.

_Better luck next time, eh Izuru-kun?_

Kira crumpled up the note, unable to help his frustration more at himself than his captain. He must have passed out some time last night and Ichimaru-taichou had carried him back to his room. What was disconcerting then was that Ichimaru had proceeded to undress him and then leave him alone. Kira guessed he really was keeping to his threat of coming near Kira until he could think of a creative way to do it on his own.

Despite his horrid headache, Kira sat up resigning himself to what he hoped would be an uneventful day like Monday was _supposed_ to have been.

Not likely.

0000

**Tuesday.**

Kira arrived twenty minutes later in his office, more anxious and frustrated than usual. The dream he'd had that night had now combined forces with his headache that seemed to grow with every step into a giant ball of tired frustration. As he sat down in his desk to another giant pile of paperwork like he had never even done any of yesterday's paperwork he began to wonder if it would be worth his honor to give one last effort at begging Ichimaru on hands and knees to end this silly contest. Although the thought at first sounded tempting, knowing his captain, he wouldn't back down.

'Which is exactly the problem. How am I supposed to do this when Ichimaru-taichou is just so…assertive….' Kira thought not even looking at the pile of paperwork. He decided to forget about it, at least until lunch-time where maybe he could sneak off and eat alone to contemplate his next actions in trying to seduce Ichimaru.

But it wasn't as simple as just putting those thoughts on the back burner. As Kira sat at his desk reading over endless field reports and other wastes of paper his thoughts continuous slipped back to his dreams from the morning, his now conscious mind filling in the details of a more benign image into a highly distracting one. He would guide his thoughts back to his papers, only to have it flit off in the opposite direction like a belligerent child.

'It's usually about now in the day that Ichimaru-taichou comes in and interrupts my paper work anyway.' He thought glancing towards the door to his captain's office which remained closed. He sighed, guess there wouldn't be any distractions from the man himself today although the images in Kira's head were distracting enough without the object of his affections even being directly present.

'It would be just like yesterday,' Kira thought. Ichimaru would saunter into his office soundlessly save the sharp snap of the sliding door being closed. Then there'd be a warm body sidled up beside him, pushing paperwork back to the desk breathing heated words into his exposed ear. Kira shivered lightly, the mental images enough to make him think it was real. If only he could be exactly like Ichimaru and just walk into the room and make his captain melt with his mere presence-

"Maybe it really is just that simple." Kira muttered out loud, paper work utterly abandoned. What exactly was stopping him from marching right in their and just demanding to be touched in the manner Ichimaru seemed to do so effortlessly. Something about the thought of coming onto his captain in that way invigorated Kira like the answer had always been right in front of him, perfectly ready for the taking. He stood resolutely from his desk and walked over to the door.

'Just like he would do it.' Kira said gathering himself. In his mind he replaced the image of Ichimaru's actions with himself trying to think of how Ichimaru had seduced him countless times.

The door slid open and Ichimaru was sitting at his desk, book in hand, clearly ignoring the large pile of paperwork on his desk. He looked up when he heard the door open to see Kira looking him straight in the face for once looking resolute. "Ya need somethin', Izuru? Ya all done wit' yer work already?" He drawled and Kira instantly looked away.

Kira had had every intention of marching right in their and demanding what he wanted. He had almost done it too. But when Ichimaru met his gaze steadily he had remembered why this was such a stupid idea.

'Right, nerves, knew there was something I'd forgotten.' He mentally chided himself for falling straight back into his usual routine. He tried to regain his composure, realizing then that Ichimaru had asked him a question. "No, it's not done yet Taichou." He answered honestly.

"Well 'den whatcha doin' in here?" Ichimaru asked, setting the book down on his desk and flashing Kira a smirkish grin.

Not answering Kira walked over, feet soundlessly padding on the tatami mats he stopped to the side of Ichimaru's desk. 'Just like he would do…' Kira mentally encouraged himself.

"Somethin' wrong Izuru-kun. Ya ain't actin' like yerself, not answerin' an' all…" Ichimaru turned slightly away from his desk to face Kira when he stood by the side of the desk. Kira fidgeted with his sleeve for a second before placing one hand shakily on the back of his captain's chair, the other hesitantly glued to his side.

He leaned down, heartbeat racing and making his hangover induced headache a little worse, and he whispered into Ichimaru's ear. "You left me yesterday." He said lamely, the whole thing really sounded foreign to him.

"Oh?" Ichimaru said pushing his chair out away from his desk, away from Kira. Their faces were now a good few inches away, enough that when Ichimaru's eyes slid partially open, Kira could see their crystalline blue color. "Were ya gonna do somethin' 'bout that?" He asked, feigning complete innocence, his tone deadly serious.

Kira swallowed hard, trying to withstand the fear that was now spreading through his body and collecting in the pit of his stomach. He stepped in front of Ichimaru, taking the space he had just vacated. "Maybe I am going to." He said slowly, the hand on the back of the chair moving to brace Ichimaru's shoulder. The older shinigami raised an eyebrow at him, interest clearly piqued at what exactly Kira thought he was going to do.

'Just like he would do. Just like he would do. What would he do now?' Kira repeated racking his brain for what to do now. Thought was failing him right now, so instead he decided to lean down, and shakily placed is lips over those of his captain. The kiss was far chaster than their usual kisses, perhaps because Kira wasn't quite sure yet what he was doing. He applied more pressure, hand gripping Ichimaru's shoulder a little more tightly. It was usually about now that Ichimaru would force his tongue into Kira's mouth, hands roaming over his body but he wasn't doing that. The white haired shinigami was just sitting there, as if evaluating Kira's every move. This unnerved him so he pulled away, breaking the kiss.

Ichimaru chuckled lightly, a deeper reverberating sound that made Kira slightly afraid for his safety. "That all ya got, Izuru-kun?" He asked playfully. Kira's brow furrowed in frustration and he leaned down again this time laying his lips on Ichimaru's pale throat, like his captain always did to him. His hands roamed Ichimaru's chest, boldly trying to push the captain's haori from his shoulders and his robes along with it. He stopped when he felt the vibrations of Ichimaru's chuckle.

"What is it, Taichou?" Kira asked cautiously pulling away. Ichimaru's chuckles erupted into full out laughter. Kira was taken aback, actually taking a few steps back from his captain. He wasn't sure he'd _ever_ heard Ichimaru laugh full out like this.

"Jus' wat is it yer tryin' ta do Izuru?" He asked finally calming down.

Kira fidgeted with his sleeve, then the tie to his hakama. He wondered absent mindedly if maybe he undressed himself completely he could seduce Ichimaru that way. "I was…trying to seduce you…" He mumbled.

"Wha' was that? Speak up a bit, Izuru-kun." He sat back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the desk in an almost lazy position.

"I was trying to seduce you…like you told me to…." He added as an after note, still barely audible.

"And ya thought ya would jus' waltz in 'ere and do that now didja?"

"I was trying to do like you do…Ichimaru-taichou." He said, a dark blush now covering his face in his embarrassment and humiliation.

Ichimaru sighed. He sat up, feet hitting the floor with a loud thunk. "Ya can't do tha' by jus' following my orders or tryin' ta be should try thinkin' of somethin' on yer own. I'm tryin' ta teach ya that fer yer own good, Izuru."

"Yes, Ichimaru-taichou." He answered meekly, feeling smaller and smaller the longer this conversation went on.

"Now dontcha have more paperwork ta be doin'?"

"Yes, Ichimaru-taichou." He said softly, bowing low at the waist.

Ichimaru pushed his chair back in picking up his book again and searching for his page. "Yer sucha good boy, Izuru. I'm sure ya can show yerself out too." He turned pages, finally settling on one, never looking up from his book.

"Yes, Taichou." He said finally looking up and backing up, not turning around to show his back to his captain until he had opened and shut the door to his captain's office again. He took a few steps into his office before collapsing to the floor in a tired pile of nerves, headache, and sexual inadequacy.

"I really am pathetic, aren't I?" He muttered, one hand coming up to his face to comb through long blond bangs.

0000

Kira hadn't really gotten very much work done by lunch time rolled around. Ichimaru hadn't yet left his office all morning; Kira figured he was waiting him out since Ichimaru usually disappeared long before high noon. Kira decided he might as well go and get some lunch since there would be no facing his captain for the rest of the day. One disgrace a day was quite enough for him.

He had barely gotten within a hundred feet of the cafeteria area when Hinamori came bouncing up to him. "Kira-kun!" She called waving a hand high in the air to get his attention as she jogged towards him across the gravel common area. "How've you been?" She asked stopping in front of him abruptly like she had been thinking about hugging him but decided against it upon seeing his melancholy expression. "I haven't seen you much other than the Vice-captain's meetings lately. You always leave before I can say a word!"

"I've been really busy lately with work." Kira explained lamely, forcing a light smile.

"That Taichou of yours been overworking you again?" Renji appeared seemingly out of nowhere, enunciating his question by smacking Kira hard on the back causing Kira to cough as the wind was forced out of him.

"Something like that…but it's really not so bad." Kira explained massaging his shoulder near where Renji had hit him.

"Well Hisagi-san invited me to go out drinking tonight if you'd like to come Kira," Renji offered, "you can come too if you want Hinamori-kun."

"No, that's alright. Aizen-taichou said he had something he needed to talk to me about after work today. Plus you and Hisagi-san get awful strange when you're drinking." She explained, laughing a little when Renji sputtered at her answer. He indignantly refuted such claims.

"I shouldn't either Abarai-san. Matsumoto-san and I were out late last night drinking so I really shouldn't two nights in row." He declined, altering the truth even though he and Matsumoto had really only been drinking until about five. Telling Renji he had then proceeded to go home and get more drunk with his captain, a man Renji already detested, was probably not the best of ideas.

"Bah! Don't be such a lame ass, Kira!" He smacked Kira on the back again which started another coughing fit. "Dontcha know the best cure for a hangover is to drink more?" He joked laughing heartily, Kira politely chuckled.

"Abarai-kun, I'm not sure that's very true…Unohana-taichou said-" Hinamori started to explain before out of the corner of her eye she saw Aizen passing by on the far side of the large open common grounds. "Oh! There's Aizen-taichou, I had something I needed to ask him, I'll be seeing you Kira-kun! Abarai-kun!" She said quickly while waving frantically, already breaking into a quick walk across the gravel plaza.

Kira and Renji stared for a minute at their friend's hasty retreat. Kira cleared his throat. "I suppose I could come for a little while at least. I may not drink very much but the company would be nice."

"That's more like it!" Renji moved as if to hit his back again, but Kira quickly dodged this time. "Hm. Well, just come by Ninth Division a little later after work. We're all meeting around there."

Kira nodded his assent and then said goodbye to Renji, heading off to go get something to eat that he could take back to his office. He wasn't exactly excited to go and drink with Renji and Hisagi and whoever else was showing up, but the prospect of spending the rest of the day in an office with his captain who was clearly done talking to him for the day didn't sound very fun either. At least this way he could get his mind off of his problems and come up with something to do for tomorrow.

0000

The sun had set past the walls of Seireitei by the time Kira arrived in front of the Ninth Division. A few lower seats recognized him as he approached, ushering him into one of the common areas of the division where Renji, Hisagi, Mastumoto, and a few other people Kira did not recognize were already gathered. He greeted them all warmly, excited to drown the troubles of the day (and the week for that matter) in some much needed sake.

It wasn't very long until nearly all of them were completely plastered. The lower seats who had accompanied Kira had passed out a while ago during the game of drinking strip poker Matsumoto had suggested. Now they were all lying around the room in various stages of comatose, throwing a large flask of sake to one another that surprisingly everyone was still managing to catch.

Among the drunken silence, Renji finally spoke up. "So what were ya so upset abou' earlier Kira?" He slurred taking another sip of sake in the middle of his sentence. Kira sat across the room, propping himself up against a table. Next to him was Hisagi, collapsed on top of the table. It would've appeared that he was down for the count too but every once in a while he would sit up, down his cup, and then collapse onto the table again with a loud thunk.

Kira glanced over at Renji, eyes glazed over. He'd meant to not drink so much. But that hadn't happened. "Oh I jus' frustrated is all…" Kira said, mildly surprised in his drunken haze that his own speech was so impaired.

"What do ya mean 'frustrated'?" Matsumoto chimed in. She was slouched against the wall, somewhere over by Renji, Kira thought, though at this point he wasn't very sure.

"Well there's this someone I like…" Kira began, trying to regain enough of his mental faculties to phrase this right so as not to give too much away. Hopefully they'd all be too drunk to remember the details of the conversation anyway in the morning. "But I can't seem to be able to show them that I do."

Surprisingly it was Hisagi who answered. "Ya should 'rite em a ledder to tell em how ya feeeel" He mumbled into his arm. Kira asked him to repeat himself and the vice-captain reluctantly looked up, eyes out of focus and repeated what he'd said.

Had he been in a more clear state of mind, perhaps Kira wouldn't have taken the advice of a completely wasted man with a '69' tattooed to his face. However in his drunken state of mind, that seemed like a pretty good idea. "Yeah, I s'ppose I could try that." His answer was accented by the resounding sound of Hisagi's head hitting the table, this time truly out.

Matsumoto chose this time to attempt to stand up. The first attempt completely failed; fortunately her fall was broken by her chest. The second attempt, Renji was at her side, propping her up while the long haired woman clung desperately to the wall.

"I think I should help 'er back to Tenth" Renji explained. Kira nodded, both men ignoring the drunken cries from Matsumoto that she was fine-why wouldn't the room stop spinning??

"Then I sink I'll head back az well" Kira said, using the table to steady himself as he stood. He swayed a little but didn't fall.

"See ya tommora, eh?" Renji said, practically dragging Matsumoto while trying hard not to stare at the woman's chest which was falling out of her robes even more than normal.

Kira nodded ducking out the door before them and stumbling out into the winding streets of Seireitei. He used the last of his strength to leap up on top one of the buildings, nearly falling off he clung to the tiles of some roof. It would be easier to find his way back being able to see the overall view. Of course it would also be easier to fall down and break something.

However he was determined to get back and go to sleep. Kira headed off, leaping from one roof to the next. After all, he had a letter to write in the morning.

0000

A/N: So that's this chapter, sorry it took longer than I expected. I was super busy, but once I sat down to write it, it all came easy. Sorry if no one could understand "Drunkese" it's got a dialect all its own. Have I said lately how much I love writing Ichimaru's accent? God its fun watching him be so mean to lil' Izuru….Why am I always so mean to the characters I love? Oh well, Kira will get what he wants eventually. Stay tuned for the next day! It's sure to be even more ridiculous! Also, I like writing drunken Shinigami, can anyone tell?


	3. Woeful Wednesdays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Woeful Wednesdays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. This idea isn't even mine. It's the creative conglomerate of me, my editor and a close friend who knows nothing about Bleach. Go figure.

A/N: So here we are to chapter three already. Starting here it will start to get really good. I hate to set the bar really high for myself, but this was one of the original events I had planned that I've been building up to since the beginning. But fear not, because we're nowhere near the end of Kira's exciting journey through self-pity, nerves, hang-overs and misunderstandings. Onward to the humor and silliness!!

Post Note: I would like to take a moment to not talk about vocabulary but the Japanese language in general. What your textbooks tell you is wrong, or rather not so much wrong as just incomplete. Japanese is a language that DOES NOT translate easily to English and therefore there are a lot of nuances to terms. As for those of you who think your Japanese skills are so much better than mine let me take a minute to say I've been studying for 6 years and while I've gone through many years of learning in classes the best way I've picked things up is through listening. Through doing this I have learned many nuances of things like "san" or "kun" or any other thing that doesn't translate that textbooks just don't teach well. Pick up a copy of Nakama, Genki, Adventures in Japanese or Youkoso, I promise you each will define things differently. So if you have something to say about how I'm translating things "wrong" don't tell me, because I don't care. I already understand that there are differences in how people understand things. It's a sad waste of a review to bitch about linguistic semantics. The explanation I gave of terms was perfectly reasonable and will not be changed unless I find true error in it.

As a language note _shunpo_ is "flash step" in English.

0000

**Wednesday.**

When Kira woke up the next morning the first thing he noticed was that he was not in his own room. He sat up quickly only to fall straight back down to the pillow. The second thing he realized was his headache was ten times worse than it had been yesterday. This was getting to be a rather reoccurring theme.

He touched his hand to his forehead, meaning to brush hair away from his eyes and discovered a bandage wrapped around his head. Deciding against trying to sit up again, he looked around turning his head back and forth to discover to his surprise that he was in the Fourth Division Sick Ward. At that moment, one of the healers walked by, noticing him awake and staring rather vacantly at the open door.

"We're glad to see you're awake, Kira-fukutaichou." The shinigami said respectfully. Kira managed a nod. "Please hold on for just a minute, I will get Unohana-taichou." He said bowing again before running off down a hallway, away from the room Kira was in.

There was a moment of silence that Kira speant staring at the ceiling when as if out of thin air, Ichimaru appeared at his bedside, running a hand affectionately against Kira's face scaring the man out of his wits. "I was beginin' ta wonder why ya didn' come back last night. An' here ya are all banged up…" Ichimaru said grinning a little his hand disappearing back into his sleeve.

"I was out last night." Kira answered slowly, not meeting Ichimaru's gaze whom he could see out of the corner of his eye was focused on the bandage wrapped around his head. "Drinking with Abarai-san, Hisagi-kun and a few others." Kira said feebly.

"An' this?" Ichimaru said gesturing to the bandage. Kira shrugged. He was not exactly sure how that had got there. The last thing he could remember he had been crossing the roofs back to the Third Division. "Drinking again too? I thought ya don' hold yer sake well. An' you and I were drinkin' just the otha night, it ain't like ya ta drink so much, Izuru." He leaned over Kira, his face now taking up all of Kira's available vision making it impossible to avoid his eyes. "Is somethin' botherin' ya?"

The blush covering Kira's face was pervasive; he could feel it cover his cheeks and then his whole face involuntarily. Ichimaru leaned down and licked Kira's ear ever so lightly. "Iz _that_ isn't it?" He said, pulling away to smirk at Kira who was bashfully looking away.

Ichimaru chuckled, which then turned into a full out laugh. Kira had decided after yesterday that he really didn't want to hear the sound of Ichimaru laughing out loud. Hearing it again only grated on Kira's headache more. He spoke again, "Gee Izuru, it's only been two days…can't ya go tha' long without me?"

Kira was about to answer when Ichimaru turned away, his attention clearly taken by something else. "Guess I better be gettin' outta here now. See ya back at work, eh Izuru?" He smiled and then was gone instantly thanks to the wonder of shunpo.

Kira barely had a moment to recover from the encounter when Unohana-taichou stepped into the room. "It is good to see you awake, Kira-fukutaichou. You took quite the fall last night, what were you doing on the roofs of the Fourth Division in the middle of the night?" She asked.

Kira looked equally stunned. Fourth Division? But he had been headed back to the Third the other night. Although numerically the two divisions were right next to each other, they were on opposite sides of Seireitei. Not knowing exactly how to respond he answered in a question. "I'm sorry, did you say Fourth Division?"

"Yes, fortunately you fell near the living quarters of our division. One of my officers heard you fall outside his window." She answered quietly though a little amused at the situation.

"Ah," Kira said lamely, although that did not answer many questions. "I must have gotten lost last night after being out with a few other vice-captains." Kira answered. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience," He added knowing full well that 'getting lost' still didn't explain why he had been on the roof.

"I see. Do not worry, however please be more careful in walking home late at night. This herbal tea is for you, it will help with the swelling and headaches." She said motioning to a small white packet that she had placed on his nightstand upon entering. Kira nodded. "When you feel able, you are free to leave." She said nodding lightly before turning to leave.

Kira decided to stay lying in bed for a moment to try and regain enough strength to move. After seeing Ichimaru again his mind was reeling in his already failed plans to regain his captain's affections. Despite his fuzzy memory of last night Hisagi's advice had somehow survived his black out. Now the idea of writing a letter was seeming like his best option. With some difficulty he sat up and pushed out of bed. He was going back to the office, he'd make the tea there and then begin working on that letter.

As for the paperwork that undoubtedly awaited his return, that could wait; this was a matter of extreme importance. He would head back now and get started on that letter.

As soon as the room stopped spinning.

0000

A short while later Kira returned to the Third Division to find his desk overrun with paperwork and Ichimaru's office door closed, just as it had been yesterday. He sighed looking at the large pile of work, some left over from yesterday now on top of today's work.

Kira shuffled through one of the drawers, completely ignoring the piles of work on his desk, searching for blank paper on which to write his letter. He took the sheets over to the desk, shoving the paperwork out of the way angrily and then began searching for his ink stone to make the ink.

As he sat there grinding the ink stone against the ink well he considered exactly what to say in his letter. He couldn't find it in himself to be angry with Ichimaru, really it was more his fault for not being able to properly serve his captain but that wasn't really what he wanted to say either….

He wanted to tell Ichimaru about the dream he'd had. Or the constant battle he'd had all day yesterday trying not to think about him slinking into the room and taking him, paperwork and duty be damned. Even when Ichimaru had come into the Fourth Division to chastise and mock him he hadn't been able to stop thinking about those thin lips smiling and how they might look fantastic smiling around something else entirely.

In a moment of supreme boldness, Kira decided that was exactly what he was going to say…kinda…sorta…maybe not in so many words.

He began writing, not even bothering to address the letter properly to his captain, opting merely to talk about his own feelings and address him that way. He told him a little bit about the dream, brush moving especially fast over this part, a blush tainting his cheeks as he wrote. Thin, abrupt handwriting detailed how he wanted that dream to become a reality and mentioned a place and time late in the evening that he wished for his captain to meet him. Stopping, he set the brush down, surveying the letter for errors and content.

_It's been so long that I have had these feelings for you, but recently they have been growing even stronger. I dreamed of you the other night. When we kissed I was unsure if I could hold back enough to take things at the pace I know you would want. You touched me in unbelievable ways and I screamed your name into the night but only we two could hear. To touch you as you let me in that dream would be pure bliss. Please, I want this to be a dream no longer. Meet me one hour after sunset under the wisteria trees in the Third Division. I will be waiting there for you, thinking always of you._

Kira decided not to elaborate further on the dream just in case the letter were to fall into the wrong hands and judging the letter to be sufficient, signed the bottom with his full name and set it aside for a moment to allow the ink to dry. He worked on a few pieces of paperwork in the meantime, mind completely not on what he was doing. After ten minutes or so, he judged the letter dry enough and folded it, wrapping it in another blank sheet of paper to hide what was written. Kira then considered how exactly he was planning on getting it to Ichimaru-taichou.

He had not really considered that far into his plan. Surely, he couldn't just march into his office and place it on his desk that would be too forward. For the same reason, he couldn't just place it in front of his door. That would run the risk of someone else picking it up (though of course who would have the balls in the Third Division to go up to their captain's door and read his mail Kira wasn't sure). The mail room! That was it, he could take it down there and they could deliver the letter for him. That way Ichimaru wouldn't get it until later this evening so Kira would be already gone from the office and otherwise unreachable until the time mentioned in the letter.

Not believing how good of an idea this was, Kira quickly wrote "Ichimaru-taichou" on a smaller half sheet of paper and then tied it to his letter. Smiling at the letter he wasn't sure why he hadn't done this in the first place. Now it was time for a walk.

0000

"So is that all the mail that needs to be delivered today?" An older male shinigami asked a younger woman who was sitting at a table, sorting the mail received that day into piles divided by division, then by rank.

"Yup, just got one more a few minutes ago. Almost done sorting." She answered happily, though why she was so happy about sorting mail was uncertain. "There! All sorted! You want to divide it like usual then?"

"Sure, just give me the uneven and you take the evens and we can be done in the hour. Himeko said she was making tempura tonight, you wanna come?" He asked her. The young woman straightened her robes as she stood up.

"Sure! Your wife's cooking is the best! You mind if I invite Kuroda-kun to come?" She asked straightening the pile of mail for the even divisions.

"Oh? So you two going out now?"

"No….he hasn't asked yet….But maybe he will soon! The summer solstice festival is in a month and I'd oh so like to go with him…" She said wistfully, picking up the pile of odd division mail to hand to the man. She was about to hand them to him when she tripped over a loose floorboard, sending the mail flying all around.

"Tanaka-san! Oh great, now we have to completely re-sort the whole damn pile…" The man rubbed his temple, crouching down to help the young woman who was franticly trying to resort the mail.

They had managed to re-sorted everything except for two pieces of mail. In front of them were one thin letter and a small brown box.

"Neither of these have names on them…You'd think people would learn to properly address their mail." The man said.

"I remember these two, there were small pieces of paper attached to them with the names. See? Here's one that says Hinamori-fukutaichou, and this one says Ichimaru-taichou!" She said holding up the pieces of paper, now detached from whichever mail they had belonged to.

"Right, but which one goes with which?" The man quipped. Tanaka looked distant for a moment trying to remember.

"I think the package was for Ichimaru-taichou…" She said.

The man sighed, putting it in the pile for Third Division and the letter in the one for Fifth. "I hope you're right, they'll have our hides for messing up a captain's and vice-captain's mail if you're wrong." He stood, picking up the now re-sorted pile of mail.

"No no! I'm quite positive that's right!!" She said standing up and picking up the pile of even division mail, this time being careful of the loose board.

"Alright, alright…See you later tonight then?"

"You bet!"

Kira's letter sat on top of the pile the man carried out of the mail center, Hinamori's name tacked to the front.

0000

By the time Kira left the office to go to the spot he had mentioned in his letter he had nearly caught up with all his work. Or rather, he would have finished it all if an even larger pile had not materialized during his trek to the mailroom. Kira had only managed to focus on his work because writing the letter had given him a sense of finality to the day. Whatever happened had been gratefully taken out of his hands at least until the evening leaving him (relatively speaking) carefree.

His hangover/injury headache was even starting to let up. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all, he reflected cheerfully. This part of the Third Division grounds was deserted at this hour even though the nice spring breeze and trees in full bloom were a wonderful sight. He chose a spot beneath a particularly large tree from which the entirety of the open space was visible, and waited in calm silence.

Kira watched the sun set behind the walls and then the floral landscape around him slowly shift to night. Absently he wished he had considered bringing a book with him to pass the time but then decided it was perhaps a better idea to try to decide what he was going to say to Ichimaru-taichou when he did appear.

An hour after sunset came and went, and still no sign of his captain. 'Maybe he got tied up with work? No, that couldn't be it…he had already left by the time I left the office and besides _I _did all of his work….' Kira thought a little sullenly but waited anyway.

Perhaps a half hour to forty-five minutes later, Kira saw a figure making its way across the grounds. For a moment his heart leapt, and he stood up, squinting in the darkness to see. The figure stood in the middle of the forested area, looking around and Kira realized sadly that it wasn't Ichimaru, but the shorter female form of Hinamori—wait, what was Hinamori doing in the Third Division grounds?

"Kira-kun?" Her small voice called out and Kira walked over to her, still unsure why she had come for him out here. He'd thought no one had known he was in this place.

"Good evening, Hinamori-kun." Kira said smoothly, trying not to show his disappointment that it seemed Ichimaru-taichou wasn't going to come. The darkness helped hide his expression.

"Um, hey…" She said awkwardly straightening her hair with one hand. Kira noticed even in the low visibility she was looking away from him, down at the ground.

"Was there something you needed?" He asked, still confused as to why she was here.

"Actually I thought there was something you wanted to talk about." Hinamori said. Okay, now Kira was confused.

"Excuse me?" He asked, still not understanding.

"It's just this…" She reached into her robes, pulling from it a thin folded piece of paper, a letter actually. It looked rather familiar to Kira and—oh god how had she gotten her hands on the letter he had sent to Ichimaru? "I'm not quite sure what to make of this, Kira-kun…"

"Well uh, it's kinda hard to explain….It kinda started a long time ago." Kira began not exactly sure how to explain to his long time friend when things with Ichimaru had gotten more….complicated. He thought she had known it was to his captain and had somehow intercepted it, the how of that matter be damned.

"So you say here." She waved the letter a little, Kira was glad he couldn't see her distressed face. "But Kira-kun…I just, I just don't feel the same way as you. And then you talk about these dreams and all. I'm so sorry but I just don't know what to make of all this….I mean I thought you of all people would understand how I feel about Aizen-taichou and that you'd know…."

Okay, Kira had stopped listening at some point. What? 'Feel the same way as you?' How she felt about Aizen-taichou? What the heck did that have _anything_ to do with his predicament with his own captain?

"I'm sorry Kira-kun, I see you as just a friend. I can't return these affections."

Then Kira understood suddenly. He also realized that in his little universe when it rained…

It poured.

"That's okay Hinamori-kun, I mean that's not what I meant to say..er…wh-what I really meant was…." Great, just fantastic and here came the back-pedaling and Kira wasn't even sure which direction he was going in to try and fix this all. Good thing Ichimaru-taichou hadn't gotten his letter, because he would have died laughing at him for getting into this situation.

"Then which _do _you mean Kira-kun? I'm getting confused." She sounded a little irritated and he could see her arms crossed over her chest in awkward frustration.

There were a couple different ways he could handle this. Kira considered his possibilities and answered carefully. "I do like you, Hinamori-kun. But I would understand if you did not return these feelings." It was a lie, but at this point a necessary one to get out of this situation unscathed. If he was lucky, she would reject him and things would kind of go back to normal. Since when did women rejecting him become a good thing? Kira was ready for this whole mess to be over with.

"I wish I could believe you, Kira-kun…but the way you say it in this letter. It just sounds so…so…needy!"

Great, now even Hinamori though he sounded needy, he swallowed what little pride he had left and responded. "I am sorry if my forwardness bothered you, I meant no offense."

"And this dream Kira-kun, do you have these kind of thoughts…often?" She seemed to hesitate in asking this.

If there were a more awkward question, Kira had never heard one. The question threw him a little off guard and he (may or may not) have whimpered lightly at his misfortune. Of course the answer to this question was 'yes, but about the person this letter had been _intended _to reach.'

"Perhaps sharing my thoughts was not the best of ideas. I apologize if it was improper." He managed to answer smoothly, bowing his head in apology. Hinamori still seemed slightly perturbed.

"It…it's alright. I think I'm going to go back to my division now….It's kinda late." She said awkwardly looking away in the direction of the Fifth Division.

"Right then, good night."

"Okay, bye Kira-kun."

"Would you like to get lunch again tomorrow?" Kira asked with a small smile. He hoped suggesting their usual lunch time with Renji would help fix things.

"Um…maybe some other time?" She said quietly, edging around him towards the exit of the division.

Rejected twice in one night? Okay, this was getting a little sad. "Okay then, good night." Kira called but she didn't respond, Hinamori was already half way across the grounds.

Kira sighed, running a hand through his hair and resisting the urge to tear it all out. It looked like it was back to the drawing board for tomorrow. More sullen than he had been all day, Kira walked back to his room for what was likely to be a fitful night's sleep.

0000

"_Captain, stop teasing…I can't take anymore." Lewis moaned into the Captain's shoulder, strong and well toned from years on the high seas. His captain's form was massive, with a blush Lewis hoped that other parts of Captain Williams would be equally proportioned. Captain Williams sat up from his happy place between his lieutenants legs._

"_Are you sure about this, Lewis?" The captain asked and the young blond was sure he had never been more positive of anything in his life, over the few short weeks onboard the captain's ship he had felt his heart slowly pulled in towards the captain like a heavy anchor. The man was built with strong broad shoulders and rugged brown hair. The captain smiled at him, and it was warm enough to melt all the ice in Antarctica…._

Ichimaru smirked as he turned another page of the small paperback. So Hinamori had a soft-spot for the _homo-sexual_ romance novels? He would have never guessed. He was sure Aizen-taichou would be interested to know. He turned another page, eyes glossing quickly over frilly descriptions of sexual acts. He looked back over at the pile of three books, the small note from the publishing company sitting to the side thanking a 'Miss Hinamori for your order and we hope you choose our publishing company again soon.'

Ichimaru turned another page to find more description of Captain Williams's elegant beauty and virility and considered how much the description matched a certain _real life_ captain. Surely Aizen-taichou would be interested to learn that little fact about his vice-captain's tastes.

Speaking of vice-captains, Kira had not been in the office most of the day. Ichimaru had not heard him return to the officer living quarters. 'Poor thing…maybe I was too hard on him.' Ichimaru thought, turning another page but not really focused on the reading.

"Ah well, 'e'll bounce back. Alwayz does."

0000

A/N: So yes, I've read trashy romance novels and they really are filled with that frilly of language and puns….I promise as a writer of sex that I will never force you guys through such atrocities. It isn't very sexy to read. Poor Kira, his life kinda sucks. I'd like to give a shout out to another writer on AFF who originally said that Hinamori read romance novels; it made me laugh and gave Ichimaru something to do in this chapter other than laugh at Kira's misfortune. I promise he will have a larger part in future chapters. In other news, I have Bleach costumes!! My editor and I are going as Ichimaru and Kira next Anime Central (I'm being Kira). We finished making all of the kimono (there were four!!) and still need to do the hakama, bloody things….I know it's not related to writing, but it is Bleach related. Please continue to read and review, Kira's week from hell isn't over yet!!


	4. Thwarted Thursdays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Thwarted Thursdays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. Clearly, I barely own this idea anymore as it continues to be constantly changed/influenced.

A/N: So here we are at Day 4 of Kira's terrible week of sexual frustration from hell! Poor thing…I'm so cruel to him. In proof that reviews and what you people say to me really does have effect, I've changed my original idea a little bit to compensate for the fact that everyone seems to want me to cut Kira a break. So maybe he'll get a little in this chapter. 'Course I could just be lying, given that I've gotten fairly used to portraying Ichimaru through all of this. Guess you'll just have to read it to see what happens, eh?

0000

**Thursday.**

For the first time since Monday Kira woke up in his own bed, without a hangover. The feeling was rather nice. Of course, he supposed it would have been nicer to wake up in Ichimaru-taichou's bed instead of his own but beggars can't be choosers. He washed and dressed rather quickly hoping that if nothing else, at least today he could try and catch up on the paperwork he had been putting off all week and maybe try to patch things up with Hinamori. He had all but given up on trying to seduce his captain, deciding to resort to his usual route of just waiting in hopes that Ichimaru would once again gain interest in him and tell him in that chiding tone that he should have been more assertive but Ichimaru liked him just the way he was anyway.

It may have been a pipe dream, but dreams were good for morale.

Upon entering his office, he discovered that that the probability of his dream becoming reality was extremely low. Ichimaru's office door was closed, even though it was usually open before he headed out to the daily captain's meeting. He turned to his desk to find it overridden with paperwork from the week, a fresh stack of today's work piled neatly on the floor. Kira sat at his desk and began to sort through the papers, looking for which were the most urgent to finish first.

He was just starting to get to work on the pile of things that had been due yesterday when the door to his captain's office slid open quietly. Kira glanced up quickly from his desk to see Ichimaru striding quickly into the room.

"G-good morning, Ichimaru-taichou." He said quickly. Ichimaru stopped in the middle of the room to face Kira.

"G'mornin' Izuru." He smiled warmly, but Kira knew better than to actually take any consolation in that smile. "Feelin' better taday? Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did, th-thank you sir. Actually I was wond-" Kira had begun to ask about the letter he had sent the other day. It still kind of bothered him how Hinamori had gotten a hold of it and he wondered if Ichimaru-taichou had ever even received it.

But it seemed Ichimaru was done with conversation, he had begun walking across the office when he cut Kira off. "Don' have time fer chitchat, Izuru. Got a meetin' ta get to, ya know? Bye bye~" He waved absently over his shoulder, tone lilting his goodbye a little as he opened the door out of Kira's office and strode out into a bright, sunny morning.

Ichimaru was gone for a time, much longer than the meeting really should have taken. However, it gave Kira plenty of time to get through the most urgent of the documents and place them on his captain's desk.

He was starting on the ones which were due today when there was a knock on his door. "Come in." He said, not looking up from the document he was reading.

"Here you are, all holed up in your office, Kira! And you say your Captain doesn't over work you….It's no wonder you're so pale!" Kira knew the voice to be Renji and looked up from the papers he was reviewing, smiling a little.

"Good morning to you too, Abarai-kun." He joked a little.

"Morning? You idiot, it's nearly lunch time! I came to get you because Hinamori-kun said she had other things to do and you hadn't come down yet. Figured somethin' must be holding you up."

Well, that answered his question about how Hinamori was feeling today. Guess there would be no hope for patching things up with her at least for the time being. Of course, one of the best things about living forever is no one, especially Hinamori, could actually stay mad forever. It was just too long of a time. Things would fix themselves eventually.

"Alright, I suppose some fresh air would do me some good." Kira set his things down on his desk and walked over to the door to sit down and put on his sandals.

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It had actually been rather nice to sit down to lunch with Renji. The red haired man was always more than a little on edge, but it did wonders for Kira's nerves to not think about his captain for an hour or so. Of course all Renji would talk about at lunch was how strange Hinamori had been acting earlier that day, did Kira know anything about that? Kira quietly replied that he wasn't sure; taking a sip of tea, and then changing the topic to anything he could think of. It only kind of worked.

"I mean really, it just isn't _like_ her to be so quiet and secretive all of a sudden…." Renji pressed again as they walked away from lunch a little while later, back to their respective divisions.

"I wouldn't worry so much about it, Abarai-kun. She was always rather quiet back in the Academy." Kira said respectfully, only really half listening to what Renji was saying for about the fiftieth time. He was instead staring off into space at the various people passing them by.

"You don't think it's like…" He paused, his voice growing quieter, "you don't think it has something to do with Aizen-taichou, does it?" It wasn't popular to say things against Aizen-taichou considering he was one of the most well liked captains. Kira was surprised that Renji would have said that considering Renji had always seemed to like Aizen-taichou.

Of course he knew that was definitely not the reason, but certainty wasn't what Renji was really fishing for. "I really don't know, Abarai-kun. But I'm pretty sure that isn't the case. I mean, Hinamori-kun would've said something if—" He stopped in the middle of his sentence because he could have sworn that on the other side of the boardwalk, walking towards the training grounds was Ichimaru-taichou.

Kira had thought he'd been able to shift most of his thoughts away from his captain, guess that was only temporary. "Excuse me Abarai-kun, I need to get going." Kira muttered, not even waiting for a response before breaking off into a jog through the crowds of shinigami towards what looked like his captain's retreating form.

He had nearly caught up to what was indeed his captain and was just about to call out his name but when he opened his mouth to call out, what had started out as a name ended in a surprised scream when his left sandal snapped and Kira fell flat on his face. Several shinigami around him stopped for a moment to stare, but his captain about thirty feet in front of him, didn't even turn around at the resounding thud against the wooden boardwalk and disappeared into the crowds.

Kira lay on the ground for a moment, trying to collect himself when he heard someone behind him. "Kira-fukutaichou? What on earth are you doing on the ground? Are you alright?" Kira only half recognized the voice; when he finally sat up, he was greeted by the concerned face of Ukitake-taichou, bent down to his eye-level.

"I'm fine, Ukitake-taichou…" He said, slowly trying to stand up, the older shinigami offered him a hand, which Kira politely took. 'Just my pride is damaged…' He thought, brushing off unseen dirt from his clothes. "I must have tripped over something." He explained lamely. He scanned around the area for Ichimaru-taichou and thankfully caught a quick glance of him rounding a corner at the end of the lane. If he hurried, maybe he could catch him.

But Ukitake-taichou was still talking. It wasn't a good idea to simply walk away from a superior, let alone one of the oldest shinigami in all of Seireitei. "I saw you just the other day actually in the Fourth Division." He continued, "Unohana-taichou was telling me you had a bad headache. You should really be more careful when you're still recovering, Kira-kun." He said his tone almost fatherly. Kira was surprised he hadn't ruffled his hair and tried to offer him sweets the way he did with Hitsugaya-taichou. He supposed his age saved him that embarrassment.

"Thank you, Ukitake-taichou. I will try to be more careful." He said quietly, bowing at the waist in respect. Ukitake smiled softly and said his goodbyes, and began to walk off in the same direction that Kira had seen Ichimaru disappear in.

It wouldn't do for Kira to run past Ukitake-taichou right after saying he would listen to the captain's advice. Plus, he'd probably never catch Ichimaru now, his knees hurt from having hit the ground so hard. With a sigh, he resigned himself to go back to the Third Division and at least accomplish one of his goals for today; get work done.

A few hours later Kira was nearly done with all the paper work excluding the work that had magically appeared on his desk while he had been out at lunch. Yet still he had seen no sign of Ichimaru-taichou since earlier that day at lunchtime. His door to his office still stood wide open. It wasn't like him, even when avoiding work, to disappear for a whole day like this and Kira was slightly worried. He signed the last document, placing it on top of the now monstrous pile of done work, deciding he would leave the pile of things that Ichimaru had put on his desk while out at lunch until later.

He stood and walked around his desk towards Ichimaru-taichou's office and rapped sharply yet quietly on the wall. "Ichimaru-taichou?" He called, knowing he would not receive an answer, but still felt it necessary to act respectfully before entering his captain's office.

The office was empty like he had expected it would be. Kira walked over to his captain's desk and sifted through the things sitting on top of it, hoping for some sort of note or clue as to where Ichimaru had gone. There was nothing that gave away his whereabouts, so Kira left the office headed back to the living quarters of the division. With the majority of his work done, no friends to hang out with after work and drink with and no captain to interrupt any of the former two activities Kira realized that his life was rather boring. Was this the way things were going to be now? That is, now that Ichimaru-taichou seemed rather done with him. Kira couldn't remember the last time he hadn't been around his captain at least part of the day. In a moment of clarity, Kira realized how pathetic that sounded but pushed it to the back of his brain to instead lament his future.

Maybe this was the way a captain to vice-captain relationship was _supposed_ to be. It wasn't like he'd ever seen Renji constantly hanging out around Kuchiki-taichou. Renji would probably have killed himself before letting that happen. Kira walked into the main commons area of the Third Division to find it sparsely populated with officers and division members, people he realized he barely knew by name. No Ichimaru-taichou in sight.

If that was the way captain vice-captain relationships were supposed to be, Kira decided he needed to do something about what had happened between him and his captain _now_. He didn't want it to feel this lonely anymore.

Kira had originally thought of heading back to his own room to spend the rest of the night reading or doing some other solitary activity. But, in a moment of boldness far more driven than any in the last week he turned down the opposite walkway and across the grounds of the Third Division towards Ichimaru's quarters. Maybe he wouldn't be there either, and then Kira wasn't sure what he was going to do. But maybe, just maybe, Ichimaru-taichou would be there. If he was—

He slid open the door, not even bothering to knock this time.

The room was devoid of any life, completely clean and just as spartan as it had always been. The living space was empty as usual. Really Kira had seen Ichimaru in this room very infrequently save the other night when they had sat in here drinking. Kira shut the door to the hall behind him, walking as if in a trance towards Ichimaru's bedroom. He opened the door to this room too. Once again, no captain, everything was perfectly in its place. Except for that box of books next to Ichimaru's futon, that was new. Kira shut the door behind him, walking towards the box not really thinking of how he was completely trespassing in his captain's personal quarters. He knelt down next to the box, interested to see what it was his captain had been reading.

"What the…" Kira mumbled, reading the titles was enough. "_Troubled Waters_? _The Blind and Buttonless Horseman?" _They were romance novels? Kira looked from one glossy, raunchy picture to the next. Apparently they were gay romance novels at that. Kira noticed a third book over by Ichimaru's bed, a thin piece of paper sticking out of the end to mark the page. As if to confirm the content of the novels the title read: _The Sherriff of Gay County_. "Ichimaru-taichou is reading these?" Kira asked aloud, turning the book around to read the back which was riddled with terrible innuendos and metaphors.

"Now now, Izuru. Ya shouldn' judge a book by it's cover, ya know?" Kira must have jumped ten feet in the air, sending the trashy novel flying; Ichimaru caught it in a graceful catch. Kira had been so surprised by the books he must not have heard his captain enter. Not that Ichimaru was ever very noisy when moving around.

Kira turned around in horror slowly to be met at eye level, Kira kneeling and his captain bent over, smiling broadly. "So, whatcha doin' in ma room, hm? Iz not like you ta go snoopin' through other people's stuff, Izuru." He tapped the small paperback on Kira's shoulder for emphasis. "'Specially my stuff, ya know?"

There was no room to run, even if he had been able to move from this spot. Kira couldn't even comprehend how much trouble he was in. The only thing he could think about was how wonderfully beautiful Ichimaru looked from this close. He could see in his mind those slanted eyes sliding open just enough to reveal deep red irises, a sight he told himself only he was privy to. He thought about those lips. He could feel every breath his captain made as the silence hung in the air like a humid day.

"Not feelin' up ta talking, Izuru? Or are ya tryin' ta give me da silent treatment? I do somethin' wrong?" The smile on his captain's face turned upside-down into a half-frown that looked more like a petulant child's pout.

Kira cleared his throat quickly, trying to find his voice again. "No, Taichou…" He couldn't hold eye contact any longer; he looked to the floor at the romance novels lying to his side. "I…I just," His gaze shifted to the other side of the floor then finally back at his captain's face which had softened slightly. "I just missed you."

"Didja now…" Ichimaru's smile returned a bit. He set the book on the floor, moving to sit down in front of the blond. Now Kira could see the door which his captain had (thankfully) silently closed when he had entered. However Kira could only focus on that for a second. Ichimaru was still so close to him. So close that if Kira just leaned a little bit their lips would touch.

Kira did lean forward, his lips timidly covering Ichimaru's. His captain seemed mildly surprised and Kira could feel his slight smirk against his own lips. He kissed Ichimaru again this time with more pressure and a little more forceful insistence. His tongue timidly licked the seam of Ichimaru's lips and was his captain really parting those beautiful lips to let him inside?

Kira moaned softly at the heady sensation of invading his captain's mouth. His tongue caressed the inside of Ichimaru's mouth and it felt like completely foreign territory despite the hundreds of times he had kissed him. Ichimaru had settled to sit on the floor with him giving Kira less of a height difference to compensate for. His hands tentatively moved to rest on Ichimaru's shoulders, his tongue surging a little further into his captain's mouth to rub slowly against the older man's tongue.

He was entirely drunk on the taste and feel of his captain's mouth, all previous trepidation and nervousness shed in this moment of unexpected passion. Kira's hands knotted in the loose fabric of his robes, slowly pulling it open. Ichimaru's hands instantly wrapped around Kira's back, one long bony finger playing ever so lightly with the hairline on the back of his neck. He moaned huskily into his captain's mouth sitting up more and moving into Ichimaru's lap until he was straddling his captain's legs. The kiss finally broke as Kira pulled at Ichimaru's robes again, the fabric loosening even more as Ichimaru shrugged the layers of fabric off. Kira leaned down, his head falling on his captain's shoulder and breathed deeply. His head lay against heated soft skin and Kira realized in moment of clarity that for the first time he could ever remember Ichimaru was missing clothes before him. The thought made him blush slightly, burying his head further into his captain's neck.

"There, there, Izuru." Ichimaru said, a hand coming to rub his back lightly in what really wasn't genuine consolation. "I think tha's enough excitement fer one day, eh?" His other hand that wasn't on Kira's back pushed lightly on his front, not so subtly pushing Kira away from him.

"E-excuse me, Taichou?" Kira stammered, sitting up still in Ichimaru's lap and his captain's face was still so close to his own that his smile covered all of Kira's vision.

"I said ya should get headin' back fer the night. Don' wantcha ta not be ready for anotha' day of work tomorrow, am I right?"

As Kira slipped slowly from his captain's lap, it was impossible for him to not show his disappointment. "T-taichou.." He began slowly, pushing back a little from his captain's still half naked form to give himself space to bow low in his humiliation. "Am..am I still…no good?" He asked cautiously.

Kira felt the hand more than saw it gently grasp his chin, forcing his gaze to meet his captain's ever present smile. "Aw, yer getting' better, Izuru….Now's jus' not the," his eyes slid open in a moment of dramatic pause eyes sliding open to reveal those dangerous red eyes again. "The opportune moment." He finished and then released Kira's chin to stand, turn and pick up his rumpled kimono all in one fluid motion.

Kira sat rooted to the floor as his captain left his own chambers for the outer room. Maybe if Kira just sat here, adamantly refusing to leave that would work. Either that or make his captain more angry and he would be thrown out of the room quite literally. Kira stayed in the same spot for perhaps five minutes until Ichimaru poked his head back in the room.

"Ya still 'ere, Izuru? Dis won't do at all…" His captain was once again immaculately dressed, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed and a slight frown on his face. "I need ta sleep too, ya know and I can' do that very well witcha sittin' in ma room can I?"

Kira looked up suddenly, meeting his captain's gaze as if in a daze. He stood, "I'm sorry, Ichimaru-taichou." He murmured quickly, taking the few steps to cross the room and passing his captain with his head down.

Ichimaru grabbed his arm with a force that startled Kira. The blond whipped around, surprise written on his face as his captain kissed him quickly on the lips.

"G'night, Izuru. See ya in the morning, eh?" he said softly before releasing Kira's arm.

It took all of Kira's strength to continue his steady walking gait through the room to the door into the hallway. He could feel Ichimaru's eyes on him as he crossed the living space, slid the door open and then closed it again with unfortunate finality. The cool night wind blew softly past him as he stared at the light and warmth coming through the screen door he had just closed.

Kira guessed whatever 'opportune moment' he was looking for would have to wait until tomorrow.

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A/N: And before anyone asks, no, I'm not talking about Jack Sparrow and his "opportune moment" stuff. Different opportune moment. It's simply the unfortunate coincidence of wording. Hope you all were pleased enough with the scene I worked into this. Promise Kira will get what he really deserves eventually. When Ichimaru feels in the mood to put out (lol that sounds ridiculous). Also as a note (not that anyone actually reads these probably) but all of the titles of romance novels are absolutely real with the exception of _Troubled Waters_. I invented that one to match the sea-faring themed scene Ichimaru was reading in chapter three. With that, I need to go find myself a copy of _The Sherriff of Gay County._ Please review everyone!! It keeps me going and it spurs scenes like the one at the end of this chapter.


	5. Feverish Fridays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Feverish Fridays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I case you were wondering, I still don't own any of Bleach. That really hasn't changed in five chapters.

A/N: Has it really been five chapters already? This is getting ridiculous….Even in other long fics I've written I've never focused solely on one pairing ( I tend to get bored easily) like this. Maybe that's just what this pairing does to me. There are still a few ideas for this one rolling around in my head so we aren't done yet. I've gotten a lot of really nice reviews from you guys and a couple confusing ones. For those of you wondering where this happens in the real plot line…good question. It's a good while before Ichigo appears in Seireitei so don't get to thinking this is going to mesh with that serious plotline and Creepy!Ichimaru. Wrong fic. Though I'm going to do one of those eventually. This is just a silly little thing to have some fun with poor little Izuru. Please enjoy and continue to tell me what you think!!

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Aizen awoke with the rising of the sun each morning. He arrived in the Fifth Division always before most of the officers had even woken up; let alone arrived. He sat down at his desk to a neat, small pile of paperwork already awaiting his review.

The only thing out of place was a small brown box, sitting on the edge next to his desk plant. His brows furrowed slightly behind horn rimmed glasses as he picked up the box to bring it closer, discovering a small note sitting on top of the box.

The note read:

_Thought you could use a little new reading material courtesy of your innocent little Fukutaichou._

_-Ichimaru Gin_

'What on earth could Gin want that he'd send me a package before the mail even arrives?' Aizen thought. He didn't believe for a second that it actually had anything to do with Ichimaru thinking he needed some new novels to read in his free time. His cryptic phrasing wasn't helping at all either. Which vice-captain? His current one, Hinamori-kun, or his eternal fukutaichou, Ichimaru? "Innocent" wasn't really a word he would use to describe Ichimaru. He untied the strings that held the box closed and peered in at the contents. Now there was another note set neatly on top of a small pile of paperback books.

This one read:

_Miss Hinamori,_

_Thank you for your order from Behind Closed Covers. We hope you enjoy your purchase. Please choose our publishing company again soon._

_-Behind Closed Covers Inc._

A book order he understood, but why had a package addressed to Hinamori ended up in Ichimaru's hands? Aizen considered the possibilities and decided it didn't really matter as he leafed through the paperbacks that were obviously romance novels from the Human World. Rather explicit ones at that, he thought flipping disgustedly past a rather heated scene in one of the novels. He would need to have a chat with Hinamori about this.

That is, as soon as he had finished reading them. Nothing more than a little research into his vice-captain's tastes.

Did she really read gay romance novels in her spare time?

'How distasteful,' Aizen thought, flipping back to the beginning of the novel and skimming over the pages with calculated precision.

Really, he'd have to have a conversation with Ichimaru too about not taking what doesn't belong to you.

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**Friday.**

When Kira awoke, the sun was shining brightly in his eyes.

He sat straight up in bed, realizing he had overslept.

The next five minutes were a flurry of covers, robes and sashes as he hurried to get ready, nearly storming out of his room in his haste. He hadn't slept very well last night, his thoughts too preoccupied mulling over what Ichimaru had said the previous night.

That and he felt more horrifically distracted and repressed than usual. Not that he was "needy" the way Hinamori had so nicely put it the other day, but it had been a long time indeed since he had gone this long without much of any contact from his taichou.

Not that Kira would have ever admitted it, but it was starting to drive him more than a little crazy.

He burst into the office and sat down at his desk, relieved to see a smaller pile than usual of paperwork on his desk. Maybe his luck was finally turning around and he could use the extra time today to figure out (and maybe even implement) a new plan for getting Ichimaru-taichou to notice him and keep it that way this time. As nice as the contact with Ichimaru had been the previous night, with all his being Kira did not want a repeat of the overpowering frustration that had followed his captain all but kicking him out.

Kira tried to push those depressed thoughts out of his mind and cheer up. Surely dwelling on them would do nothing for his morale or his inspiration to come up with new, better ideas for getting at his captain. However those plans would have to wait as there was a happy little pile of paperwork as always waiting for him.

He began absent-mindedly reading over a routine field report, glancing up at his captain's door which was closed today. He assumed that meant Ichimaru-taichou was in his office but decided not to go and greet him if he was indeed there. More likely than not that would force another confrontation and Kira was fresh out of good ideas at the moment and didn't feel like having his already lacking confidence taken down another notch.

Having read it and made the proper corrections he signed the bottom and set in his done box on the edge of his desk. The morning progressed mostly this way without a peep from behind Ichimaru's closed office door. Periodically Kira was distracted into day dreaming of new possible ways to seduce his captain which then lead to even more distracting day dreaming of what would happen when things finally did work. That is, if they worked.

He finished his morning paperwork an hour or so before lunch time and was at a loss for what to do. He had maybe been sitting at his desk staring absently at his captain's door when to his surprise that door slid sharply open and Ichimaru stepped out into the main room.

"Ah, so ya are 'ere this morning, Izuru. Didn' hear ya come in I guess." Ichimaru commented absently. Kira was about to give his apologies but Ichimaru continued. "Don' know what ya think yer doin' turning in paperwork tha' isn' even done to me tho'. Must be slippin' eh Izuru?"

Kira frowned lightly unable to suppress the reaction. He was sure all the work he had turned in to his captain in the last few days he had double and triple checked to make sure it was all filled out properly. How had he managed to miss the full pile of paper that Ichimaru was now brandishing at him as he crossed the room?

"I'm sorry, Ichimaru-taichou. I have no excuse." He admitted to his own failure because it was a hundred times easier than trying to fight the issue with his captain by saying he was sure he hadn't missed anything.

"I suppose I can forgive ya, Izuru." He cocked his head to the side, grin sliding from his face a little bit in a more disappointed frown. He set the small pile about the size of the pile Kira had just finished on the desk. "I suggest ya step to it tho'." Ichimaru leaned down a little resting his elbows on Kira's desk lazily. Unfortunately for Kira he was still a good distance from him. Usually he would get much closer to Kira when attempting to intimidate him. Guess there would be no almost kisses today, or at least for the moment. Ichimaru retreated back into his office again after flashing Kira a knowing grin from across the room, shutting the door lightly but resolutely behind him.

Kira sighed, looking down at the pile in front of him. He was _positive_ he had filled out all of the work on his desk over the last week. Well, best to check when these papers had been submitted, maybe he'd missed part of the pile the other day when he had had all those piles on his desk. As he read the date he knew something must be wrong. These papers had been due back on Tuesday! How had he missed something that badly? He began to furiously work on the pile, knowing if these weren't finished before he went to lunch he would be in trouble with more people than just his captain.

He still wasn't very sure how this had happened. He was so meticulously organized about his work Kira wasn't sure how a whole _pile_ of paperwork had gotten misplaced for half a week. He supposed in the long run it didn't really matter; all that mattered was getting it all done now.

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Back in his office behind the closed door, Ichimaru's grin grew wider from ear to ear. He sat back down at his desk, grabbed a glass paperweight off the edge to throw up and down and then put his feet up on the edge of the desk. He wished he could watch Kira flip out over the new and very late paperwork that had been given to him, but it was probably better this way or his fretting little vice-captain might suspect something.

Of course he had every right to, though Ichimaru knew for a fact Kira wouldn't blame an ounce of it on him. He had taken the paperwork the other day when Kira had been in the Fourth Division all morning after falling off of that roof. The concept of such an injury still amused Ichimaru a bit and he supposed his amusement at the time had been what had made him take that paperwork off of Kira's desk. There was really no purpose to it, other than he just liked to keep his little vice-captain a little bit on edge; couldn't have Kira's life becoming routine could he?

This was probably why he had set up this whole thing in the first place. Part of him truly did want to see Kira succeed, he did so so rarely. But the other part of it, and admittedly the bigger influence had been he just enjoyed watching Kira squirm; the other was oh so good at it.

It made him wonder what exactly Kira was going to try today. He indulged the thoughts slipping into a day dream, since he seemed to always have the time to do so.

0000

When Kira had finished the work he had been handed earlier it was well past lunch time yet he wasn't feeling particularly hungry despite having not eaten anything all day. Kira decided he would go and walk the paperwork over to the mailroom himself to ensure it got delivered before the end of the day so it wouldn't be any later than it was already. Picking up the pile, he tapped it lightly against the desk into an orderly stack, carrying it out of the office.

"I'm going out for a little bit to deliver these papers, Taichou." He called from the doorway from the office. There was no response, but he figured that was a good thing and darted out of the office. He strode through the main common of the Third Division where some of the officers were sitting around clearly done for the day. He regarded them with a light, respectful nod as he and continued to walk swiftly out of the room and towards the exit to the Third Division. Fortunately, the mail room wasn't too far from the division.

Within ten minutes he had the papers delivered and was headed back to the Third Division. By now he was feeling very hungry, the physical activity of rushing the papers over to the mailroom making him realize his hunger. He walked back into the Third Division common room wondering what he could do for food since the cafeteria was probably closed by now when he realized he might not have to go very far for food at all. In the main common room there was a table where people generally left food they didn't want left over from parties (or unwanted gifts) so people could eat them. Kira went in that direction, hoping there would be something edible there this late in the day.

There wasn't much. A plate with a few small cookies left on it was about the only thing left that hadn't been reduced to crumbs. Of course, there was the fruit basket sitting in the middle of the table that was really more for decoration than for eating. However the fruit arranged in the basket didn't look over ripe and so Kira picked up the entire basket, tucking it under his arm as well as a cookie for good measure.

As he turned around with the basket to head back to his office he saw a few of the division members milling about give him funny looks but no one really tried to stop him. Regardless of the relationship he had with the lower officers, or lack there of really, he was still their vice-captain. He munched lightly on the cookie as he walked out of the room and back into his office.

It was then that Kira got a terrible idea. Perhaps it was the sheer monotony of the day finally getting to him in a way that made him want to lash out for the idea was completely out of his normal character. Later, he would blame Hinamori and those silly romance novels she had lent him long ago when they were both in the Fifth Division for the idea. Those pathetic novels with their blushing women and dark handsome men had been chock-full of horrendous innuendo and sexual schemes.

Really, Kira wasn't sure why he hadn't turned to those novels for inspiration back at the beginning of this week when Ichimaru-taichou had first challenged him to his current plight.

He remembered this one novel in particular; some girl who wanted her co-worker oh so badly but couldn't think of a good way to give him a hint that what she wanted was rather…er, physical. One day, she had packed a lunch and then had lunch with him that day and eaten her lunch in a rather suggestive way.

Kira remembered the food she had done this with was fruit, which he conveniently enough had a whole basket of with him right now. He didn't stop to think that it was beyond a ridiculous idea. Nor did he consider that being this forward around Ichimaru-taichou was perhaps a little out of his league. Instead, he went straight into the office and up to Ichimaru's door, knocking softly on the wooden lattice of the shoji door.

From behind the door he heard his captain utter that he could enter and resolutely he opened the door, sliding it shut behind him.

"Ah, Izuru, finish all tha' work already?" He asked conversationally looking up from a document that was probably only really in front of him for show.

"Yes, Ichimaru-taichou."

"Yer sucha good lil' hard worker, Izuru. Perhaps ya are deservin' of some type a reward er somethin'." He said with a smile that knew more about Kira's thoughts than he sometimes knew himself.

Kira pushed away his captain's words, knowing by now when he was being strung along only to be let down and when his captain was actually being sincere. Instead of inquiring as to what kind of "reward" Ichimaru was talking about Kira returned with a completely different topic. "Actually, Taichou, I was thinking we could take a short break and relax from the day's work. I brought this so that we might have a little snack." Kira showed the basket to him, setting it down on the edge of his captain's desk.

"Not a bad idea, Izuru. Fruit would sure be refreshin' on a day like taday." He looked down at the fruit basket selecting a bright red apple. "Course….Dis wouldn't happen ta be the basket from da division commons now would it?" He asked; Kira made a rather guilty expression. Ichimaru chuckled. "Iz not any trouble, Izuru. Not like a fukutaichou can't take wha' 'e wants from 'is own division. As long as it ain't his captain's stuff he's takin'…." Ichimaru commented, taking a bite from the apple, eyes never leaving Kira's face which at this point had paled a little.

He was too deep into this plan now to withdraw to his office, or just plain run away. He decided to start off with his plan slowly so as not to be nearly as blunt as the girl in the romance novel he was emulating had been. He dug around in the basket, choosing a tangerine which he then began to peel.

"Come sit ova' 'ere, Izuru. No sense in standin' if the point o' this is ta relax." Ichimaru commented, gesturing to the small couch near his desk as he took another bite.

Kira knew this couch well. It was really less of a couch and more of just a padded bench that was buffered on the ends by a few stark pillows. But it wasn't the look of the couch that made Kira remember it so well. This couch was the number two place that Ichimaru chose to use in his usual plots to play with Kira at work. It was second only to Kira's desk where Ichimaru would approach him.

This week excluded, it usually went thus: Kira would be sitting at his desk, innocently doing work and Ichimaru would sneak up (sometimes more silently than other times) and wrap his arms around Kira's shoulders. What happened next rather depended on the day and his captain's mood. However the times that these mere distractions got a little more heated, Ichimaru would drag Kira back into his office because closed doors where people generally knocked were better for this sort of thing than the open space of Kira's office was. He would guide Kira into the room, and slowly nudge him down onto this couch, leaning down to get on top of him and—

So here Kira was, on the infamous couch. It was making it even harder to focus than Kira had expected.

"Are ya gonna eat that, Izuru? Or jus' sit der starin' at it? It ain't gonna eat itself ya know…." Ichimaru gave him a knowing glance and for a moment Kira thought he already had his plan completely figured out. It made Kira want to flee again.

He nodded to his captain, setting the peel beside him and pulling the tangerine in half. He split off a small section from one of the halves, slowly sticking it into his mouth.

Kira wasn't entirely sure how this was supposed to be seductive. The book hadn't described it very well, leaving the visuals more up to the active imagination of the reader than describing it in plain words. He tried to be creative, his eyes slowly sliding shut to avoid his captain's penetrating gaze and focus on the task at hand. His tongue darted out over the slice held at his lips before pulling it in and swallowing it. Kira opened his eyes a little, realizing Ichimaru's gaze was still on him. His eyes were slanted shut in their usual fashion but he knew that his captain was carefully watching his every move. The thought was a little unnerving but boldly Kira kept that eye contact taking another slice of tangerine and mouthing it slowly with his lips before consuming this slice like he had the other.

"Ya like tangerines, Izuru?" Ichimaru commented for the sake of small talk. He had nearly finished his apple and was now more playing with it than eating as he watched Kira's actions intently. Kira nodded lightly, eating two slices at a time in an effort to speed things up and get out from under his captain's gaze.

Tangerine now gone, Kira considered what to do next. He didn't get much time to think it over before Ichimaru had picked up the basket offering it to him to take something else.

"Ya were workin' so hard taday ya didn' get a chance ta eat, didja? Ya must be hungry, Izuru." He said handing the basket to him. Kira wasn't making very good conversation; his focus was away from Ichimaru's comments and more on how inadequate he felt doing this. It seemed to him that Ichimaru-taichou wasn't really getting the hint. Deciding to step thing up a notch he grabbed from the basket a few strawberries before setting the basket back on the edge of Ichimaru's desk.

Ichimaru chose to not take anything this time from the basket, still picking at his apple that was now little more than the core.

Kira set the strawberries in his lap, picking one up by the stem and pushing the bottom of it slowly into his mouth, sucking lightly. His eyes slipped closed at the sweet flavor of it; it had been a very long time since he'd had strawberries.

Ichimaru's smirk widened a bit as he watched Kira play with the fruit, the blond taking a large bite and rotating the fruit to slip his tongue over the soft inside. He had known what Kira was up to the moment he had walked into his office carrying the basket; another half-baked plot. What he hadn't been expecting was for Kira to follow through with such stunning boldness. He had always been rather fond of Kira's small, thinly drawn lips. Perhaps the blond was quiet during the day, but Ichimaru remembered fondly the loud, desirous sounds he managed to wring from that small mouth.

It made the smile on his face grow all the wider.

Kira's face felt warm and he figured it came from the blush that was spreading across his cheeks. He finished the first strawberry, sucking the last bits of sweet juice out of the remaining fruit. He threw the remains into the garbage next to the couch and picked up the other two strawberries deciding it was time to put his boldness to the real test.

He held both strawberries together with one hand, his other hand folded politely in his lap. He held the strawberries near his mouth, tongue sliding out over them feeling the rough texture before slipping one into his mouth to suck gently. He let out a quiet, muffled moan for his captain which was not missed by the man watching attentively.

Setting down the apple core he hadn't realized he was still holding, Ichimaru rooted through the fruit bowl suddenly feeling hungry. Deciding that two could play at this game he grabbed a banana from the basket and set it down on his desk in waiting.

Kira's face felt like it was on fire now. He was embarrassed and surprised that he hadn't been kicked out of his captain's office yet. He had finished one of the strawberries and now turned to devour the other in a single bite. He threw the stems into the garbage, folding his hands in his lap and looking down at the floor, a little ashamed at how much he'd allowed himself to get into this little tactic.

Ichimaru spoke through the silence, slicing it open as if with a sharpened knife. "Ya still hungry, Izuru?" He asked holding up the banana he'd taken earlier. "I'mma bit too, but I don' think I can eat dis whole thing by maself. Care ta share it wit' me?" Kira nodded and so Ichimaru reached into his desk pulling out a small knife he kept there for whatever he may need. He sliced the banana in half, throwing one half to Kira.

Kira barely managed to catch it. His vision seemed blurry all of a sudden. He thought little of it and peeled the banana slowly, watching Ichimaru-taichou do the same with his own half. Those eyes watched him carefully and Kira could've sworn he could make out the smallest glimpse of red irises. He couldn't breathe. He put the fruit in his mouth, making a light "O" around the length before biting a piece off with his lips. Ichimaru wasn't eating his yet, he was watching Kira instead. To Kira, that gaze felt scathingly hot.

The room felt hot, his vision spinning as fast as his mind. He swallowed and set the banana down for a minute to stand up and try and shake off some of the dizziness.

But he never made it, as soon as he set down the banana he slumped over, falling to the floor passed out.

Ichimaru frowned lightly at the display. That had been unexpected. He got up from the chair going over to where Kira was sprawled on the floor. He placed a hand to his forehead which was burning, moving to his pale throat where Kira's heartbeat was rapid and erratic.

Ichimaru chuckled darkly to himself before picking the blond up easily in both arms bridal style. In a second they were gone from the office and halfway across Seireitei.

0000

Kira awoke later unaware of the amount of time that had passed. It could have been minutes but as he sat up slowly the stiffness in his limbs made it feel more like hours or days. He sighed, taking in his surroundings as foggy vision focused on the soft earthen colors of the room.

The Fourth Division Sick Ward. _Again_.

Ichimaru-taichou was nowhere to be found as usual. Of course, Kira wasn't even all that sure how he had gotten here or even why he was here. He looked over at the nightstand hoping to find some medicine or some sort of note that might shed some illumination on his situation.

The latter was there. He picked up the small slip of white paper folded in half like a name plaque. The front read _Kira Izuru_.

He unfolded the note and read the tiny pristine handwriting:

_You should be more careful, Izuru. I think this little challenge is starting to affect your health._

The note didn't have to be signed for Kira to know who had written it. He crumpled the little piece of paper and threw it into a nearby wastebasket for good measure. It was Ichimaru-taichou's fault he had to do this at all. On top of it all, he was making this hard on Kira…playing so hard to get. It was his fault, wasn't it?

He didn't get much longer to think on it. Out of the corner of his vision he saw a head of silver hair pass by.

Ukitake-taichou popped his head into Kira's room, gentle smile morphing into a concerned expression. "Up already, Kira-fukutaichou?" He strode into the room and Kira masked his disappointment that it he wasn't Ichimaru still lurking about waiting for him to regain consciousness.

"Y-yes Ukitake-taichou, I'm feeling much better." Kira played along still not sure why he was here.

"You had quite a bad fever when Ichimaru-taichou brought you in about an hour ago." Ukitake said as if this explained everything perfectly to the blond. "You aren't getting really sick are you? After falling yesterday and all too…." He asked good-naturedly.

Kira didn't have to invent an excuse because at that moment Unohana-taichou walked into his room too, carrying a clipboard and an excessively large folder that looked about ready to burst with bold characters on the side spelling "Kira, Izuru".

Kira shifted uncomfortably. Having this many captains present in his room was making him uneasy, even if they were two of the most good-natured captains in all the Gotei 13, their timeless, deep rooted reiatsu was a little overpowering.

Unohana-taichou regarded the other captain with a serene smile and a light bow. "Ukitake-taichou, if I may be so impolite as to request a moment alone with Kira-fukutaichou…" She said softly in as ever formal of language as she always used.

"Of course, Retsu. Sorry to be in the way; feel better Kira, you're in capable hands." He waved over his shoulder at the two as he walked out of the room to stalk what might as well have been his division as was the Thirteenth.

Unohana-taichou watched him leave over her shoulder before turning back to Kira, opening the giant folder and looking down at her clipboard.

"From your expression I surmise you do not know why you are here, do you?" Kira shook his head no so the much older woman continued. "What is the last thing you remember then?"

Kira thought back, he remembered everything up to coming here. "I was having lunch in the Third Division." He decided to delete the details of it being in his captain's office and the whole botched sexuality of eating said lunch.

"Were you eating with anyone else?" She followed up, writing on the clipboard.

"No," Kira lied.

"Do you remember what you ate? Specifically, if you can remember any of the details?"

Kira paused for a moment. There was really no issue in disclosing these details. "It was some fruit; a tangerine, a couple strawberries, half a banana maybe." Though if his memory served him right he hadn't eaten very much of the banana.

Unohana nodded her thanks and set the clipboard down on the table to flip better through the folder. Her calm eyes scanned the pages flipping quickly through decades of medical history. She stopped on one page in particular scanning down it with a finger. "Here it is." She said softly to herself, pulling the sheet out and setting the folder on the edge of the bed.

"When you were brought here, your symptoms matched that of an acute allergy attack which we treated you for." She explained, handing Kira the paper. "However, without talking to you, we were unsure as to what could have caused the reaction. According to your file, you were treated back at the Academy for an allergy attack from strawberries."

Kira had forgotten all about that instance. After all, it had been a long time ago. What he was looking at was the release document from all those decades ago…signed into the custody of Hisagi Shuuhei?

And now the details of how they had discovered his allergy came back to him. He blushed furiously and Unohana-taichou remained respectfully silent, chalking it up to embarrassment at forgetting his own medical information. He remembered Hisagi dragging the damned berries down his chest and making a large chocolate mess all over young skin before feeding them so slowly to him…before passing out.

Comically, Kira wondered if at the time Hisagi had cleaned the chocolate off of him before carrying him across the dormitories to the Fourth Division medical outpost on the academy grounds.

"Kira-fukutaichou," Unohana-taichou interrupted his recollection at length to speak. "If I may suggest, if you have trouble remembering your allergies, perhaps you should write it down somewhere or tell others to help remind you." She suggested kindly.

Kira nodded, "Yes, Unohana-taichou. I will be more careful." Kira said, the words written on that note by his own captain coming back into his head as well.

"That is all I ask then, please feel free to leave whenever you are ready." She bowed before gathering the papers and her clipboard and leaving the room.

Kira let out another heavy sigh settling back into the soft pillows and raspy blankets.

Tomorrow was already Saturday. What was left there for him to try in what was turning into an endless (and fruitless) quest for the gratification his body and mind so desperately craved?

0000

A/N: So this is the first time I've ever completed a work that involved food. I started writing a food fic probably about 4 years ago but it broke my brain. This is the first successful attempt and I'm rather pleased with myself for getting over this hump. In other news: dear god did I just hint at a Academy!KiraxSenpai!Hisagi pairing? You're damn right I just did. Am I going to write it into this fic? No. But I do so think he was Kira's first…Shuuhei you perverted bastard….Just watch the Shinigami Illustrated Picture Books. I don't think they're together anymore, but they're more than just casual drinking buddies. Disagree with me if you like, but it's a pretty small detail to pick at since I'm only hinting at it in this story. "Saturday" is one of the chapters I've had planned since the very beginning so expect absolute hilarity!


	6. Showy Saturdays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Showy Saturdays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. But I own Kira's clothes now. ::lecherous smirk::

A/N: Sixth chapter now! Dang this is getting long….I don't have a lot to say today though. I finished work for the summer which is nice. Now I have a month to relax before I go back to being unable to write anything all school year…. I'm going to give it the old college try because there are still lots of Bleach stories I want to write and we'll see what happens. However, regardless this fic will continue. Two more chapters left and then a possible epilogue. Who knows? It kinda depends on my mood and whether or not I get nice reviews…. You guys can control at least one of those so hop to it! Oh, and enjoy the fic…

_Kosode_: This is the black and white "kimono" that Shinigami wear. They are technically called kosode whereas kimono reflects a category of clothing. (difference between saying a "shirt" and a "t-shirt")

_Fundoshi_: Traditional underwear for men worn before WWII in Japan. How do I know they wear these in Bleach you ask? There's an episode where Kira and Shuuhei get shitfaced and end up naked except for their underwear. Fundoshi look like a cross between a thong and mawashi which Sumo wrestlers wear.

_Gobantaichou-san_: This is what Ichimaru calls Aizen. Don't argue with me that it should be gobantai-taichou. Tell that to the crazy captain with the ridiculous dialect who hyphenates the word. I'm sure he will have some choice words for you. They might just be _Ikorose_ _Shinsou_.

0000

Keeping the order of Soul Society and defending the Human World from the threat of Hollow was a never-ending job. Fortunately for those giving the orders in Seireitei, shinigami were immortal. So, day in and day out there was work to do on any given day of the week.

However it was understood that shinigami still were (at least in spirit) human and required some time off from work.

Therefore it had been decided back in antiquity that Saturdays were to be a half day.

**Saturday.**

Kira awoke about the same time he did every day despite it being the beginning of what was for all intents and purposes the weekend. He chose to wake up early each day because it kept his sleep cycle more normal if he got the same amount of sleep each day. Plus, he preferred to enjoy his Saturday mornings in a state of slow moving peace.

Or wrapped comfortably in his captain's arms. But that wasn't exactly and option right now. Kira shifted further under the blankets mourning the lack of warmth and comfort that such contact would have provided him.

However, laying there feeling sorry for himself wouldn't fix anything. There was work to do.

Real work, or rather office work, didn't start until around noon. However as Kira dressed for the day he ran through the mental list of things he needed to do before then. He had a plan he was sure was going to work this time.

It had come to him in a dream, perhaps laced with a hint of Hinamori's romance novels again. He had dreamt of Thursday night when he had been in Ichimaru-taichou's room, but the situation had been a little different.

Instead of his captain happening upon him, Kira had been lying in waiting brazenly in his bed. But his mind had known that alone would not be enough to tempt his captain into action. He had waited in rags made of black satin and lace, the feminine delicacy of such clothes clashing with the masculine angles of his body. His captain had walked in, gotten an eye-full and had been about to comment in that witty drawling voice. Kira hadn't let him; had flashed him a hauntingly beautiful coy look with just a small hint of vulnerability to it, knowing so perfectly that was how Ichimaru-taichou liked him.

And all masks had fallen away, his captain's self-control completely undone in that one look.

Kira was sure of himself that this plan would not fail. The images of that dream he held onto tight like a security blanket not allowing the details of it to slip through the cracks of consciousness. He straightened his hair a bit before taking leave of his room and heading out of the Third Division completely for a little stroll over to the Tenth Division.

There was work to be done.

There was but one problem with his new little plan. Other than his daily robes Kira owned next to nothing in other clothes. There were a few dark colored winter kimono, pale thin summer kimono and an assortment of obi to match but nothing that could in any way be construed as sexy. This is why he was headed to the Tenth Division. The only person he could think of who might be able to borrow something from, or even just get some advice on where to find such clothes was Matsumoto Rangiku.

Or at least, she was the only one Kira could think of who wouldn't laugh her ass off at him for asking. As long as he didn't bring up the fact that it was for seducing his captain around her, he should be in the clear.

If she was even up before eleven on a Saturday.

He navigated the passages of the Tenth Division fairly well, having been there many times over the years. A few officers gave him strange looks for being there but overall the boardwalks were uninhabited on a Saturday morning. He arrived at Matsumoto's door, rapping quietly on the door frame and then a little louder, calling out when there was no response.

After a few minutes the door slid slowly open revealing a very sleep addled—but thank god fully dressed—Matsumoto.

"Kira-kun? What on earth are you doing here? Ya need something?" She asked, brushing hair away from her shoulder. She ran her fingers through the luscious waves slowly pulling at invisible tangles.

"Actually, I was hoping I might be able to talk with you. I have a favor to ask."

"Oh, sure, come in," She walked away from the door and into a main room space to a table in the middle of the room. "I just started a pot of tea, do you want some sake while we wait?"

Kira tried not to be appalled that she suggested drinking when it was barely nine in the morning. "No thank you, Matsumoto-san. But tea would be nice when it's ready, thank you." He said politely, taking a seat at the table.

She returned with only one sake dish and a bottle in hand sitting down at the table with Kira and pouring a cup for herself. At length she asked, "So what can I do for ya?"

Immediately Kira wished he had said yes to a cup of sake; being inebriated while asking these things of Matsumoto sounded like a fantastic idea. "Well it's a little complicated…"

"Oh please, you come to my door on a Saturday morning banging up a storm. Whatever's on your mind must be pretty bad but ya must want to talk about it." She took a sip of sake flashing him a kind smile, "This kind of behavior isn't like you, Kira-kun," She added for good measure.

That much was true, Kira knew for sure. But putting his troubles in words was going to take some very delicate maneuvering. All of a sudden, Kira was struck with a rather brilliant idea. "Well there's someone I kinda like…" He began, trying to act unsure of himself and shy.

It seemed to work because Matsumoto responded immediately. "That's a good start, so what's the problem? You not told them yet?"

"No it's not like that…she said there was someone else she liked, she rejected me." Kira continued to play this game feigning being hurt.

Matsumoto lowered her tone even though they were alone. "It's not Hinamori-kun is it?"

Kira averted his eyes and nodded slowly.

"Oooh, I think I heard something about this from Abarai-kun, he said she'd been avoiding you like the plague lately." She said brashly and then realized that might hurt Kira's feelings. "But you know she could always change her mind, ya know?" She added in an attempt at consolation.

Before Kira could respond, the whistle for tea blew and Matsumoto excused herself to make tea. A few minutes later Kira was nursing a hot cup of tea; his best dejected look he could muster on his face.

"Aww, cheer up, Kira-kun…" Matsumoto said sitting down with her own cup. "Man, you're really hung up about this aren't you? You really like her a lot, huh?"

Kira took a sip of tea trying to plan the direction of the conversation to get it to where he wanted it to go. "Yeah, I guess…I just won't take no for an answer."

"Anything you got in mind for convincing her?" Matsumoto asked taking a sip of her own tea.

"That's actually what I came to ask you about," at this Kira did genuinely blush now that enough of his real plan crossed over with the story he was telling her.

"Well, shoot then." She said taking an alternating sip of sake.

"I was thinking if I made myself more…physically appealing maybe I could change her mind…" Kira verbally skirted around what he meant. It was too hard to say even if the person had been changed. Matsumoto egged him on with a hand to explain further. "I was thinking something perhaps a little more revealing like lingerie…or something…." Kira's blush covered the majority of his face.

Matsumoto had to try hard to not spit out hot tea all over everything at his suggestion. Regaining her composure she asked. "This is just my personal opinion, but I think Hinamori-kun is more attracted to uh…_masculine_ men." She said avoiding his eyes when she said this.

"Oh I know that Matsumoto-san….but there's just no way that can be me!" Kira lamented perhaps a little too dramatically, surely his lack there was of muscle or size had never been an issue with Ichimaru-taichou. "The most I can do is appeal to the suggestion of-"

This was getting a little more into Kira's personal life than Matsumoto had expected. She cut him off before he could continue his tirade. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry for suggesting it….If that's really what you want though I er…I don't really think I can help you."

Kira face went blank. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I have nothing that's uh…kinda in your size."

"Oh," Kira's blush re-spread over his face and he avoided Matsumoto's glance.

She couldn't help but feel bad for her dear friend. He looked so jaded across the table; needy for any kind of help she could provide. He looked desperate for the affirmation of the one he loved, Hinamori.

"Don't be so down yet, Kira-kun. I've got an idea. There's someone I know who might be able to help you. Do you know Ayasegawa-san of the Eleventh Division?" She asked.

Kira shook his head. "Not personally, no. But I've heard of him."

"When Abarai-kun was in the Eleventh I used to see him when we all got together to drink, we used to be pretty good friends. He's about your size too, maybe a little shorter." She suggested, Kira's face seemed to brighten a bit.

"But I don't really know him, you sure he'd lend me something like that just on your honor?" Kira asked, he was rather skeptical about the whole thing and a touch fearful. Borrowing something from Matsumoto was one thing, but the people in the Eleventh Division always made him more than a little edgy.

She was silent for a moment, resting one arm on the table while the other swished the sake in her dish contemplatively. "That is a good point…And he can be a little uptight about things sometimes…" She said more to herself than to Kira. Her face then suddenly brightened and as if to reward herself for whatever thought she'd just had she downed the cup of sake. "I've got the perfect little piece of dirt you can tell him if he's being a problem about anything. Works every time." Her grin was more than a little wicked and Kira was slightly concerned if he should be taking blackmail information against someone he didn't even properly know.

"Is that really the only way to get him to agree, Matsumoto-san? I mean maybe there'd be a nicer way to…."

"Nonsense, Kira!" She poured herself another cup of sake, sloshing a little on the table as she over-filled it. "Ya know, you've got to learn how to rough people up a little to get what you want. You can't always go around asking nicely and expect people to just give you what you want. You aren't _that_ charming."

Kira wasn't exactly sure how to take that backhanded compliment and so he responded by taking a sip of tea. "I get along just fine I think." He said at length but Matsumoto waved him off.

"Sure, sure, but there's no sense in not sending you in with a little extra ammunition. Now just listen to this one," she laughed a little, "you don't even have to know Yumichika properly to know _this_ is good."

And so she launched into a story that Kira politely listened to, sipping at his tea from time to time. He tucked the information she told him into a small corner of his mind, just in case.

0000

It was a little bit after ten when Kira left the Tenth Division on a mission to the other side of Seireitei to the Eleventh Division. He hadn't been anywhere near this division in years. Even during the time Renji had been in the Eleventh he had always pleaded with the redhead to come and visit him instead of making Kira come to him. This division more than any other set his nerves on edge; perhaps there was still enough of the Fourth Division in Kira to feel that his presence was not welcome in the division of all things war and violence.

As he walked into the Eleventh it seemed the entire division was out on the grounds training. In any other division this would have been beyond unnatural on a Saturday morning, but he recalled that Renji had said once that everyone was up at six in the morning regardless of the day, season or weather.

Fortunately, everyone was so busy training or watching people fight that no one really noticed the blond weaving through the crowds towards the main building.

Matusmoto had given him directions around the Eleventh since Kira had absolutely no idea where to find the fifth seat's quarters. He walked the hallways nervously reading nameplates slowly for the proper quarter. Stopping at one door in particular, he read the complex characters a few times over to make sure he had the proper door before knocking on the door frame.

A muffled voice form inside answered asking who was there, Kira stumbled over the words calling through the door, "Third Division Fukutaichou, Kira Izuru. I wish to speak with you." He asked politely. The door slid open to reveal a tall bald man who glared down at Kira.

This was exactly why he had not wanted to come to this division. This person however, he knew. "Ma-Madarame-san…Um, I was looking for Ayasegawa-san…is this um…the wrong room?"

Ikkaku crossed his arms over his chest scowling down at the blond. His robes seemed slightly out of place, but then disheveled appearance was rather common in the Eleventh Division. "Nah, you're in the right place. He's kind of busy at the moment though." He said curtly.

"Oh I see…" Kira stumbled; now what was he supposed to do? "Um, well Matsumoto-san sent me here to ask a favor of him actually…"

Ikkaku was about to answer that he didn't care if all the captains in the Gotei 13 had sent him, but Yumichika answered from inside. "Oh? Rangiku-san? Ikkaku, stop bullying him and let him in here. You can go get us some breakfast or something." The feminine voice answered from within. Ikkaku made a pained expression but left the door frame in a huff brushing past Kira.

Kira entered, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves and gather himself for the next challenge. He shut the door quietly behind him taking in the small room. The man who must be Yumichika stood from a low table to greet him. In that moment, Kira took back all previous feelings that everyone in the Eleventh Division was rude and messy. This man's immaculate appearance could put most _women_ to shame.

"Are you a friend of Rangiku-san's? I'm afraid I don't know you personally." He said smoothly with a small coy smile. It took Kira's entire mind to not interpret that look as anything other than friendly introduction. "The name's Ayasegawa, Yumichika. You said you were vice-captain of the Third Division? Don't spend a lot of time up there myself…" He extended a hand in greeting which Kira took.

His hands were inhumanly smooth; Kira's grip lingered for a moment longer than he perhaps meant it to. However it seemed to go unnoticed by the other man. "Yes that's right, Matsumoto-san and I have known each other a long time. It's very nice to meet you."

"So then," he began, sitting back down at the table on the floor which Kira then joined him at. "What can I do for you?" Kira was taken slightly off guard by the abruptness of the question. That and the heated stare still fixed on him.

"Well, I was hoping I might be able to borrow something from you," Kira began. At this point there was no meaning to beating around the bush or lying through his teeth.

"We've only just met and you already want to use my stuff? We're not roommates or something." Yumichika quipped though his tone was still very playful.

"Well, Matsumoto-san said you might let me in good faith-"

"Ohohoho…did she now?" He laughed good-naturedly but the fifth seat's smile betrayed a level of cunning. "And what exactly is it she thinks I'll lend strangers?"

Kira tried to hold it back, but at the question his face turned bright red. "I-it's um…nothing much, just um…" Kira tripped over words and he could see the man was getting a little irritated with him.

"Speak up, I can't hear you if you mumble every other word." He said in a lower tone. A slight frown tinted his usually graceful expression.

"She said you might have some form of li-lingerie or something….that I could borrow. Maybe, possibly, if you would be so kind." Kira could feel himself shrinking against the table.

There was a long moment of absolute silence. And then Yumichika doubled over in unrestrained, ungraceful laughter.

"HAHAHA…Oh that's rich! So she thinks she can send random people to my door asking to borrow my-hahaha…my clothes…And I'll just- I'll just let them?! Oh man…I have no idea what she told you to get you here…but that's just rich…." He held his sides laughing and Kira tried hard to stay strong against it and not crumble.

The laughter was a little humiliating to say the least, but Kira hardened himself against it. He couldn't let his plans fail before he even got a chance to present them to Ichimaru and he'd come too far, lying to Matsumoto, crossing the Eleventh Division to just give up now. He swallowed the shame and hesitation that was boiling to the surface and covered his expression in a stone cold mask. "She said you might do this." Kira said over the laughter, his tone was a tad more dangerous than usual. "She told me something just in case, a secret if you will."

Yumichika stopped laughing right away. "A secret, eh? And just what is it you think you know?" The other man's tone was playful again, however all joking was gone from his expression.

Kira tried his best to think over the phrasing of this information to have the most effect. "She said if you didn't co-operate with me she'd tell people about your little weekly trips to the Human World to get certain supplies from the local general store. Specifically women's makeup. Of course, the certain people she would tell would depend on my report of your helpfulness, but she guaranteed that the information might at least slip to some certain people in this very division."

Yumichika's expression was dark to say the least. "That cheating bitch…" He muttered under his breath. Kira was actually somewhat surprised to hear such language from someone who appeared so graceful. "To dare to even insinuate that I would need makeup to keep this beautiful face so flawless. How is it my fault that in her imperfections _she_ needs something as base as Human makeup…."

Kira wasn't so sure who Yumichika was talking to. It didn't seem to be directed at him per se. Yumichika continued to mutter for a moment before Kira interjected his current weaker tone all the more contrasted with his earlier firm tone. "Um, if I may, Ayasegawa-san, I don't mean any of this personally. I mean that's just what she told me to say, I've seen nothing myself and surely wouldn't tell anyone." Of course, to Kira the whole thing seemed a little blown out of proportion but saying so he figured wouldn't really help his predicament. "Though if you just help me, I promise to tell Matsumoto-san that you were helpful beyond anything I expected and surely she won't tell anyone…."

Yumichika glared slightly at Kira more for interrupting his monologue than for anything in particular that the blond said. "Fine, I will help you." He stood from the table dusting of his robes for unseen particles. "But know that this little exchange has rather irrevocably damaged any hope of our friendship."

At this point, it was a price Kira was willing to pay. His eyes were still on his intended prize, his captain; with him again at last after a week of frustration, failure and Fourth Division Sick Ward visits. However he nodded solemnly to the other man who seemed to accept his response.

He gestured languidly for Kira to follow so Kira stood, following Yumichika over to the other side of the room. He knelt before a rather large closet, sliding open the door with some force before beginning to rifle through one of the many drawers. While waiting, Kira stared in wonder at the number and variety of clothing Yumichika had. Absently, he wondered if the other man ever got a chance to wear any of them since day in and day out they wore the same uniforms. He was broken out of his wonderings by Yumichika seemingly talking to himself.

"I don't know what Rangiku-san thinks she's doing asking _me_ to help you though. You're _clearly_ far bigger than me. Does it look like I carry undergarments in various sizes? I swear that vulture…"

Kira chose not to comment that he wasn't really _that_ much bigger than Yumichika thank-you-very-much. He'd had just about enough of insults for one day and the last thing he needed was someone he barely knew insulting his appearance. It wasn't that he really cared that much; he wasn't nearly as vain as the man in front of him however he'd always been rather pleased with his own appearance. That is, Ichimaru-taichou never seemed to complain about it, so he was happy with it.

Yumichika opened another drawer and extracted a bag which he then neatly placed the garments he had pulled from his collection in the bag. "I'm graceful enough to know better than to ask what you need them for." Kira forced himself not to blush and Yumichika continued. "All I ask is you wash them before giving them back to me. Oh, and I have no shoes that match that will fit your feet. You'll have to figure that out yourself." Yumichika handed him the bag begrudgingly and Kira accepted it bowing lightly.

"Thank you, Ayasegawa-san."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't tell anyone. The results would be very…unattractive." He waved a hand in front of his face as if the thought alone was uncouth. Kira nodded his acceptance of the terms and thanked Yumichika again before leaving. He hadn't looked into the bag yet; he decided he would wait once he was far out of the eyesight of Yumichika and the Eleventh Division.

Yumichika sat down at the table again, thoroughly flustered and rattled. He glanced across the table to where Ikkaku had been sitting before he had kicked the bald man out of his room and noticed the sake bottle sitting next to his cushion. Yumichika picked it up and impolitely took a drink straight from the bottle.

At this moment his door slid harshly open and Ikkaku stepped in not having bothered to knock. "Yumichika, that guy gone already?" He asked stupidly since it was rather obvious in Yumichika's small quarters that the blond was nowhere to be found.

"Yes, yes he is. I could do with some forgetting of it." He commented, taking another heavy drink from the sake bottle.

Ikkaku was more than a little perturbed by Yumichika's seemingly uncivilized behavior. That is, as uncivilized as the black haired man could be. "Um, what about the breakfast you asked me to get?" Ikkaku said dumbly holding up the bag he had brought.

Yumichika hummed lightly, setting the bottle down on the table and turning to face Ikkaku. "I kind of had something else in mind…"He smiled a gentle yet knowing grin that made Ikkaku drop the bag.

"Well I s'ppose if you put it that way…" Ikkaku began to loosen his robes more than they already were as Yumichika stood from the table that same look never leaving his face.

0000

Back at the Third Division Kira arrived in his office to find it thankfully, and as he expected, empty. Ichimaru-taichou seldom showed up before one on Saturdays, well after the captain's meeting that was earlier in the day perhaps a little before noon. He supposed most captains went to work a little before the meeting and then left for a while to attend. But Kira could practically depend on his captain not making an appearance until well after noon.

Which was precisely what he needed.

Firstly, Kira had to see to his preparations. He set the bag of things from Yumichika next to his desk and then set to work. He skimmed all of his paperwork, signed the necessary documents perhaps a little faster than usual, and only double checked his work once. With his own work now out of the way, he proceeded into Ichimaru-taichou's office and tentatively sat in his captain's chair as he worked on Ichimaru's paperwork. It was common for him to do at least some of his captain's work but usually he completed it at his own desk. Sitting in his captain's office there was an edge of excitement at the illicitness of completely taking over his captain's job for perhaps the half an hour it took him to hurriedly read the documents and stamp them with the Third Division seal.

Finished with the papers he took them completely out of his captain's office and placed them in his own "done" bin. He then went back into Ichimaru's office and set about clearing the desk of all unnecessary things.

This was all a part of the plan. Get paperwork out of the way so there would be no hitches in the daily flow of work. Clearing Ichimaru's desk gave him his stage. He couldn't very well hang around all day in his captain's quarters waiting for him to come home; Kira had work to do too. And so his desk would take the place of his captain's futon as it had been in the dream. So he washed and set away his captain's ink stone and brush in a drawer as well as the various papers and pile of books that sat on his desk.

The room was set, only one thing left to do. Kira glanced up at the clock on the wall; 12:15, perfect there was still plenty of time. Kira went back into the main room and picked up the bag sitting next to his desk to disappear into the bathroom that adjoined the office. Fortunately, the bathroom was a part of his own office; he would not have to walk down the hall or find some creative way to conceal his clothing. He could merely wear his kosode over it for the sake of general discretion.

He locked the door upon entering and set down the bag, finally getting to see what was in it. The blush spread further and further over his face as he unpacked the various garments wondering exactly what he'd gotten himself into. He stared for a moment trying to decide what went on first eventually settling on completely disrobing and then figuring it out from there.

Once he was completely naked he picked up what appeared to be underwear. It was made of a glossy looking black satin with red elastic. Kira reflected that the style was much like his daily fundoshi but flashier. Pulling the thin garment up over his hips though he discovered it was actually quite different. For one the garment was much tighter and smaller; perhaps Yumichika had been right about that size difference thing. He rearranged himself a little in the front but it did nothing to alleviate the discomfort of the back strap bunched up between his exposed butt cheeks.

Figuring it couldn't be helped Kira picked up the next garment. This was clearly some sort of shirt or tank top but the fabric was completely sheer black netting. The sides and seems were decorated in red piping, with a little red bow on the front. The garment looked made for a woman the way it cut into two distinct bra-like cups but in blind faith Kira tried to put it on.

It surprisingly fit, something Kira was thankful for and when he turned to look in the mirror to see how it looked he turned as red as the detailing on the not-shirt was. You could see straight through the triangle shaped pieces over his chest, nipples showing through in a darker hue tinted by the black. Fabric cut away from the tighter part around his chest into a sort of half skirt that was about waist length. Of course, it didn't really cover anything since it cut away from the center of the chest in an upside-down "V" that fluttered uselessly to his sides revealing the long expanse of his too skinny abdomen all the way to his hips where the thong was, barely in place. Little blond curls poked up above the edge and Kira tried pointlessly to tug the tight undergarment up but it barely budged only to slip back down again.

Kira gave up on that and reached for the last thing before him. Kira looked at the thigh-high netted stockings with slight distaste not sure how to get them on without breaking the large netting. He sat down on the cold floor. His bare bottom felt strange against the tightly woven tatami but he ignored it, focusing on delicately pulling one stocking up his leg. He pulled it up as far as it could go, elastic holding it in place at mid thigh. Small red bows to match decorated the outer sides of each stocking for good measure. The other one he put on too, fighting from time to time with the flimsy netting.

With everything in place he took one more furtive glance at himself in the mirror. He decided he wasn't going to do that again. He hoped this appeared sexy to his captain, but all Kira could see was the sheer ridiculousness of such feminine clothing on a decidedly not feminine body. He pulled on his black kosode again running over in his mind anything he could say or do to possibly offset the sheer ridiculousness of the outfit. Then again it was rather…suggestive. Maybe that alone would be enough.

Kira prepared what he would say anyway.

He tied the kosode shut loosely and gathering the rest of his clothes into the bag, bravely stepping out of the bathroom and back into the office. He dropped the bag off at his desk stuffing it under it before taking the few steps across the room to Ichimaru's office.

The door still stood open, sans his captain and so Kira stepped in, shutting the door behind him.

Now was the hard part; waiting. He sat down on the edge of the desk and watched the clock with bated breath as the minutes seemed to drag on. At about 12:50 he started to worry, maybe his captain was running late or something. How long was he going to be sitting here in these uncomfortable clothes in such a vulnerable position? The danger of being discovered by someone else other than his captain started to build in the pit of his stomach.

Reason reared its beautiful head. Since when did anyone come to bother his captain during work hours? Kira couldn't recall one instance in perhaps a month. He let his thoughts drift back to the dream he'd had earlier which was possibly not the wisest thing to do as it made his already tight thong feel unbearably tight. He rearranged the fabric again under his robes to no avail.

The door slid open all of a sudden and Kira's attention snapped to the door with a hopeful smile. The only one who would enter the office without knocking would be-

To his inextricable horror Aizen-taichou walked through the door.

There was neither time nor place to disappear to. Kira wished he hadn't been sitting at center stage on Ichimaru-taichou's desk; maybe he would have had a chance to shunpo away then. Suddenly all of his flawless planning had gone terribly sour.

Kind yet focused eyes settled on the Third Division Vice-captain and Kira shrank beneath that gaze.

"Kira-kun, have you seen Ichimaru?" He asked as simply as if over afternoon tea.

Kira crossed his legs nervously in front of him but didn't leave his perch on Ichimaru-taichou's desk. That would have only drawn more attention to his attire which as it was his fishnet stocking clad legs were still perfectly visible.

"N-n-no…Aizen-t-t-taichou. He ha-hasn't returned yet." He barely managed to get out. The room felt hot again but his embarrassment was born of a different feeling than it had when his thoughts had been on his current captain.

"Ah, I see." His gaze left Kira's face to travel down Kira's frame and the blond felt more naked than he already did. For a moment it seemed he was going to turn and leave but Kira's hope was short-lived. "Out of my own intellectual curiosity, why are you not dressed for work?"

Kira's face paled a few tones. In all of his preparing dialogue for how this event would play out, he hadn't thought for a second what to say if things went wrong. "My um..my hakama got ripped and dirty this morning practicing…I didn't have any other clean pairs…" Kira lied. To him the lie seemed obvious but Aizen-taichou seemed to believe it for a moment before his eyes traveled once again down Kira's form, he shivered, and steadied on Kira's strange choice in leg wear.

"Hm, that's no good. You should keep spare ones in case of such incidents." He commented and Kira nodded solemnly. He was about to excuse himself with some lame excuse of asking one of the lower officers to borrow a pair when Aizen continued. "Perhaps Gin would have a pair you could borrow, hm?"

If possible, Kira paled more. This was not going as planned at all. "R-r-re-Really, Aizen-taichou….It's alright. My work is done for the day so I should really just be heading back anyway…" Kira stumbled over the words trying to politely tell the captain no. It wasn't really working. Aizen's expression seemed slightly critical although his gentle smile never changed.

"Aya? What's this, Gobantaichou-san standing in ma office? I saw ya jus' earlier too…." Kira heard the drawl more than saw the man who had spoken since Aizen-taichou's broad form was blocking the doorway. The brown haired captain moved out of the way to regard Ichimaru.

"Gin, perfect timing. Kira-kun had a question for you." He said motioning to the vice-captain who had at least had the mind to get off of his captain's desk and take a few steps away.

Kira wasn't sure things could get any worse. It took him so long to think of what to say that Ichimaru spoke first.

"Wha' happened to yer pants, Izuru? Ya get hot er somethin'?" Kira could have sworn for a second that smile had turned to a knowing smirk. Aizen-taichou seemed to have not seen it.

"Th-they got dirty…" He stumbled, blush returning to his face. "Aizen-taichou said I should ask you if you have any that I could perhaps borrow briefly…" He looked to Aizen for aid as he said this but the man regarded him as if he had never suggested any such thing to the vice-captain.

Ichimaru scratched his head comically, his grin becoming contemplative. "Not tha' I got jus' sittin' around 'ere in da office, ya know? Maybe back at my place tho'…" His tone was suggestive as his gaze roaming Kira's body so much slower than the quick scan Aizen-taichou had made. His gaze stopped at the hem of Kira's kosode locking on to Kira's stocking clad calves making Kira feel a hundred times more exposed.

Either Aizen-taichou failed to notice the tone or chose to ignore it. "I need to talk to you, Gin." He said simply. Ichimaru's gaze was ripped from Kira to the other captain.

He smiled. "O' course. Since ya went ta the trouble a' seekin me out I s'ppose I can chat fer a little bit." He turned his head to look at Kira again, "Izuru, if ya wanna wait fer me I can see to those pants yer missin'?" Aizen regarded Ichimaru for a moment before turning back to Kira to hear the response as if watching some verbal tennis match.

Kira's head swam with heat. He was sure his face must be fifty shades of red but neither captain regarded him in a way that they could feel his discomfort. Perhaps it seemed Ichimaru's smile was a little wider than usual; surely Kira assumed he knew how uncomfortable this conversation was making him but Aizen-taichou's expression was like a rock; the same impassable, fatherly professionalism that Kira had always known it as his whole life. That unyielding expression unnerved him far more than his own captain's teasing smile. It made it hard for him to think, he couldn't process what Ichimaru-taichou was saying or even what he thought. There was but one thing running through his mind.

_Get the hell out of this office._

"That's alright, Ichimaru-taichou. I've finished my work for today; I think I'll head home." Kira gently refused. In the back of his mind he could still think only of getting away; repeated over and over like a mantra and overshadowed only by his rapidly beating heart.

Ichimaru frowned slightly. "Alrigh', suit yer self then." He said moving out of the doorway for Kira to duck past the two captains. Ichimaru looked over his shoulder watching Kira retrieve a bag from under his desk before running out of the office. He crossed his arms over his chest, burying his hands in his sleeves; a large frown in place of his usual Cheshire grin. "Look whatcha did, Aizen-taichou~. Ya scared da poor thing off…"

"Sorry to ruin all your fun, Gin."

"Maa, I s'ppose it can' be helped." He shrugged, gliding around Aizen to sit down at his desk which he noticed was curiously devoid of nearly all its usual clutter. "Now wha' was it ya were needin'?"

0000

Later, once Kira had changed out of that outfit he realized in a sudden burst of intelligence that he had passed up his opportune moment. Ichimaru-taichou had even asked him to stick around until he was done talking to Aizen-taichou, or even go back to his captain's quarters. And what had Kira said? _No._

He was beyond stupid. He had been made dumb by the sheer embarrassment of the situation he had only brought on himself. He could've waited for his captain to return from being out to make sure he would be in his office and then changed but no, he just had to have the element of surprise.

Someone had been surprised alright. He showed a side of himself to his previous captain, Aizen-taichou that he had never wished to show anyone else. It was a part of himself he reserved solely for Ichimaru-taichou.

And when the man who was the object of his affection had asked for it Kira had politely refused, too confounded by embarrassment and frustration to even notice the opportunity handed to him on a silver platter.

He was now dressed in a simple green cotton yukata, sitting in his room with absolutely nothing to do. He looked around, settling his thoughts on his desk drawer. Maybe that was still in there from his birthday.

Kira got up and went over to the desk opening the drawer. Sure enough, taking up nearly the whole drawer with its sheer size was the jug of sake Matsumoto and Hisagi had gotten him together for his birthday. It had sat there untouched the last few months as Kira didn't drink very much. At least not alone, though he did enjoy doing so with a few close friends. However every time he had offered to bring the jug with him to one of these little parties the two had always refused saying that sake was for him and him alone.

He never drank alone, but he was willing to make an exception this once.

Kira took the jug and the cup also in the drawer walking back over and setting both on the table. He poured himself a rather liberal drink, eyes settling on the bag of clothes again.

Surely Ichiamru-taichou had noticed his attire earlier. How could he not when their daily uniforms were usually so concealing? He had seen those eyes all but ravage his body and he wished not for the first time that fate hadn't reared its ugly head and made Aizen-taichou appear at the most inopportune moment.

Kira drank deep before considering for a moment how silly it was to be sitting here alone drowning his troubles in a giant bottle of sake. Could he go back maybe and see if Ichimaru-taichou was still at the office? Kira wasn't sure he wanted to go back, he had embarrassed himself enough for one day and the alcohol worked through his limbs quickly encouraging lethargy and another drink.

He had missed his moment, there was no way to go back and reclaim it. Maybe it was time to just give up and resort to waiting for Ichimaru-taichou to regain interest.

Either that or beg at his feet for mercy.

Regardless, there was nothing left that could help his current situation and so Kira decided the best solution was drinking the day away into what he hoped would be a better tomorrow.

But at this point, he wasn't holding his breath.

0000

A/N: All done with this one! Hope everyone liked it!! ::dodges knives and other sharp objects:: Okay, I'm sorry for being so mean to the poor bastard. He was so close today too. Go throw your sharp objects at Aizen-taichou, not me!! This chapter turned out super long…Next one will probably be even longer. Thanks so much to everyone who follows this! Please review! It makes me so happy and spurs me to write more!


	7. Suspended Sundays

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Suspended Sundays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or profit from its production. Though I do gain emotional profit from reviews….

A/N: What's that title? You say this is the last chapter! But it doesn't sound like it from the title that Kira will get what he wants…Well, this is the last planned one that I have in writing. I've gotten a few ideas for a possible epilogue but I'm not sure if that would actually get done. I tentatively say this is the end but it isn't really. Not for this pairing anyway, I'll never be done with these two. I've got a couple shorter ones planned; no more 60+ page mammoths like this one is going to become. So I hope you enjoyed this one and please continue to read my other stuff (and review which I know I've said like a million times but it seriously does just make my day). When you make my day I tend to feel like making Kira's day too. And he could use more of those. So if for no other reason, review for the depressed blond in my head who just really wants his taichou to screw him already.

Post Note: Can I just say for a second I'm getting really sick of people "correcting" my cultural and linguistic notes? I put these here for people's benefits in hopes of giving people a little education and saving you a google search. Please stop leaving me reviews that go on a "holier than thou" rant. I don't care, they put me in a bad mood and I'm not going to change what it says in my notes anyway. On that note….

_Kiseru_: A traditional long wooden pipe used for smoking tobacco. Typically made out of bamboo or some like wood and then painted with intricate patterns. Traditionally they were used by samurai or the nobility.

_Tabi_: Traditional Japanese socks. They have a break in them that separates the big toe from the other toes. They are usually white.

_Obi_: A very long, wide sash that comes in virtually every color and pattern. It is wrapped around the waist and usually tied in some decorated knot or bow generally in the back.

_Shihakushou_: Literally "Death uniforms". This is the word used in the manga and anime for the entirety of the shinigami robes.

0000

Hinamori awoke early Sunday morning to the light sound of rain falling outside her window. There was no work on Sundays and so she stayed in bed simply listening to the peaceful sound for awhile, closing her eyes in an attempt to reclaim the dream that was lazily drifting away from her.

It had been a nice, comforting dream. In the dream, it was late at night and she was sitting in her captain's study dutifully watching him as he sat at a low desk writing in graceful quiet strokes of his brush. He would take breaks from writing for a moment, as if in deep contemplation and take puffs of sweet smelling tobacco from a kiseru. The smell had been comforting to her and filled her with warmth. She snuggled a little deeper into the large kimono Aizen-taichou had given her upon ushering her in to shield her from the surprisingly cold spring nights. It smelled of his deep sent mixed with that of the smoke and consoled her into a sleepy state even as she dreamed.

The dream had felt as if it were real, perhaps because she on occasion followed him to his study after a day of work. Not all the time, lest he become aware of her affection for him; but just enough for her to receive the comfort of his presence.

As she continued to day dream, listening to the rain, she imagined him finishing writing at his desk and pushing the desk back into its place against the wall to stand. He blew out the candle on the desk and then walked over to where Hinamori was sitting. His massive form simply towered over her sitting one.

"Are you comfortable there on the floor, Hinamori-kun? Wouldn't you prefer the cushions?" Dream Aizen asked, gesturing to a pile of pillows and blankets arranged in the corner. Hinamori knew in real life no such thing existed but in the dream it seemed a further luxury added to her comfort.

She nodded and took his outstretched hand to help. His grip stayed for a moment on her tiny hand guiding her over to the cushions where she sat gracefully, rearranging the pillow around her. Aizen-taichou smiled gently sitting in front of her on the floor.

"Do you want a cushion too, Aizen-taichou?" She asked softly because something about the mood dictated hushed voices.

"No, that's alright, Hinamori-kun. I prefer to sit here." He said and his voice was as deep and rich as the scent of smoke that still pervaded the room.

"Aizen…taichou…" She whispered because he was leaning closer, a large, warm hand enclosing her small delicate fingers.

Perhaps it sounded like one of the romance novels that she so loved but to her it was all just perfect.

Actually, speaking of romance novels, she thought in a moment of clarity that made the dream disappear like a puff of thin tobacco smoke, what had ever happened to that order she placed about three weeks ago? It didn't generally take this long for them to get to her….Perhaps Aizen-taichou had seen her package and picked it up by mistake? Oh well, she'd have to ask him about it later.

0000

**Sunday.**

Kira awoke late the next morning with surprisingly not as bad of a hangover as he had been expecting. Maybe he only ever drank to excess when around other people; good to know.

The air coming in through his open window smelled of fresh rain. Kira considered spending the day lounging around in bed followed by lounging around outside but decided against it. He needed to go the office for at least a short while to see if there was anything that needed doing before he could properly enjoy his day off.

He had no real plans today. He had given up on all half-baked schemes and ideas. He had suffered quite enough humiliation and Fourth Division visits for one week. He decided he was going to take things easy today.

Or at least as easy as he could take the day with the heat building in the pit of his stomach that was just _not_ going away right now.

He wanted Ichimaru-taichou so bad today. Maybe more than he'd ever wanted anything even compared to other times he had wanted his captain. The need was beyond just an annoying itch in the back of his mind. It was center-stage and today it had a microphone and a giant amp.

He dressed swiftly, careful to avoid as much contact with his lower regions as possible; why encourage the voice even more? With a defeated sigh he left his room to head to the Third Division offices.

As expected the office was completely empty. Ichiamru-taichou hardly showed up for work on weekdays let alone on their day off. Kira walked over to his desk, confused look on his face directed toward the neat pile of papers on his desk with a note on top.

'Oh great, not another note,' Kira thought. He knew precisely who it was from without even looking at the handwriting.

It read:

_Nice of you to do all my work for me. Too bad you didn't stick around that I could thank you properly. Of course, next time you do me a favor; make sure you fill out all the papers right._

_-Ichimaru Gin_

He crumpled the note throwing it in the direction of the garbage can. He then looked down at the pile of paper work. Ichimaru-taichou had gone back over the papers marking all the places where Kira had made mistakes or missed something in big bold circles. The documents were so illegible now that Kira would have to rewrite them all before fixing them.

It felt like the icing on the cake to how horrible yesterday had been as Kira sat down dejectedly, pulling out some fresh paper and his ink stone.

So much for no work on Sundays.

0000

He was about halfway through the pile when he lost all ability to focus.

His captain's note today had mixed with the heated stares from yesterday and collided with his dreams all week to create on giant ball of unrequited tension. It felt like every second his mind strayed back to heated breath against his neck and his captain's moans that he knew so well. All of it had snowballed into a heat he could noticeably feel and it was getting past the point of ignoring.

Of course, it wasn't like anyone was here or would be coming in on a Sunday.

Without further hesitation Kira swiftly undid the white tie around his waist and then the front ties of his hakama. He parted the front of the two layers of kosode, palming himself lightly through his fundoshi. The friction felt so incredibly good he had to bite his lip hard to keep from crying out, increasing the pressure against his growing erection.

The tension soon grew to be too much to bear and he pushed the flimsy white fabric out of the way to touch himself properly. He let the front of his hakama drape lazily over his hand, enjoying the rough feel of it brushing against his knuckles and aching erection. Kira let out a shaky sigh only having to nudge his imagination a little bit in the right direction to think of his captain's bony hands on him. He used both hands, the thumb of one hand teasing the slit mercilessly as his other stroked the shaft harshly.

In his mind's eye, Ichimaru was on the floor between his spread legs touching him as his own hands were. His head was bent close to Kira's crotch, not touching but close enough that Kira could practically feel the breath near his now straining cock.

He needed it so bad now. Needed his captain's touch worse than when he had started. Maybe this wasn't the best way to relieve this impossible ache. If anything, when he increased the pace with his hands his mind strayed further to how his captain's touch would feel endlessly more satisfying and so much better than his own hands could ever do. He was so close now; he could feel his release coming and it felt so satisfying to be this close to anything remotely satisfying. Kira shifted moving his pants further down his legs to brace one leg against the edge of his desk. He bit his lip to repress a sigh, stroking himself harder with one hand as the other lightly ghosted between his thighs towards his entrance.

Kira had his eyes screwed tightly shut, focusing hard on the images his mind was supplying to go along with the rough strokes he made on his cock. He was so involved in his own little fantasy that he neither saw nor heard the door to the office slide open and then closed again.

"I-ichimaru…taichou." He moaned perhaps a little louder than he'd meant to as the tip of his finger penetrated his entrance. The images were just too powerful; oh how badly he wanted that finger to be his captain's long boney finger or better yet the slender man's cock;so full inside of him.

"Kira-kun? Are you in here? Ki—" Hinamori stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway to his office. Her eyes were disastrously glued to him as if watching some horrific train wreck that was simply too appalling to look away from.

Kira opened his eyes and almost immediately fell over in shock. He managed to not fall over but he kicked the desk hard with his foot sending several papers flying. Hinamori was barely distracted by the flurry of flying papers. She just kept staring.

Kira had never really considered suicide before. But in this moment he really wished he had brought his sword with him to work daily. He really felt like falling on it right about now. Kira tried to cover himself up more; hide his midsection under the desk. But it was too late. The damage had been done.

"Hi-hinamori-kun…" He practically panted his breath was still ragged from his interrupted exertions and even the presence of his long time friend had not been enough to banish the images of captain's naked body from his mind.

She continued to just stand there. Kira would have given anything to know the thoughts running through her head at the moment because her usually bubbly expression was deadly still. However she was beginning to blink again, that was probably a good sign.

"Hinamori-kun, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you knock—"

"No! It's okay…I just barged in!" He voice cracked a little and she spoke very fast while taking slow steps backwards. "I didn't think anyone was here…But then I heard you say Ichimaru-taichou's name…"

Oh shit, had he said that out loud? No wonder she looked so freaked out. "You can't tell anyone, Hinamori-kun, please," was the only thing he could think of to say.

"I'm not sure what I would say even." She sounded slightly in hysterics, she had stopped taking steps backwards but her behavior was flighty at best. "First the letter to me, now this, I don't know what to make of things, Kira-kun…" She looked from him, to the door then back at him. "I'm sorry, Kira-kun!" She wailed before running through the doorway, down the hall, opening and then slamming the office door again hard.

Kira sighed, trying to rub away a headache that was forming my massaging his temples. As if things with Hinamori weren't bad enough to begin with. In her distress she wouldn't tell someone would she? Perhaps Renji or even worse, Kira thought with an audible gulp, unload her concerns on the paternal listening ear of Aizen-taichou. After yesterday he figured that man was suspicious of him enough.

All thoughts of what he'd started now banished by Hinamori's intrusion he fixed his hakama and retied the sashes around his waist. His will to act on the uncomfortable feeling was gone, but the distracting frustration was still very much present.

Oh well, there was still paperwork to do.

However, he had only just begun again on the documents when he received his second interruption of the day.

"Aya? Wut're ya doing 'ere on a Sunday, Izuru?" Kira didn't even look up from the paper he was correcting but he knew automatically who it was.

"I could ask the same of you, Ichimaru-taichou." He quipped and Ichimaru seemed truly taken aback that Kira had so sardonically retorted to his little side comment.

"Yer words hurt me, Izuru. I was jus stoppin' by ta pick up some papers. 'N here I find ya, hard away at work…" He walked over to stand behind Kira, closer than Kira would have liked given he was still waging war against hormones and distractions. "Whazis? Yer fixin up those papers ya did yesterday? When I saw 'em da otha' day, I barely believed it was yer work, Izuru. So sloppy of ya to go makin' all those mistakes…Somethin'…distractin' ya from yer work?" He leaned down over Kira a little more as he talked, watching the blond's swift precise strokes on the page as he copied the document.

"No, Taichou. I was just tired I guess." He responded. It seemed another lifetime away, but perhaps a week ago he would have responded more to his captain's proximity like this, but now it did nothing but irritate him and distract him more. He knew better than to respond to it, he was being led-on. Their game was still in full swing.

"Ya should see to tha' then. Ya seem restless an' distracted. Maybe ya should take a nap, Izuru?"

Kira wondered sometimes how Ichimaru-taichou managed to read his thoughts so perfectly. He wasn't _that_ transparent despite anything Renji had ever said to that effect. Ichimaru stepped away from Kira but the blond still blushed.

"These documents are finished, Taichou." He said setting down his brush in favor of a pile sitting neatly on his desk. "If you would please look over and see if they are satisfactory I would very much appreciate it."

He handed the pile to Ichimaru who frowned. "Yer all bizness now, Izuru…Iz no fun…" He whined but took the pile anyway and disappeared into his own office.

Kira sighed as that door closed, torn between two worlds. On one hand he was just so tired of this long drawn out game and wanted to simply bury himself in paperwork, obligations and poorly misplaced duties. Yet the other part of him wanted very much to go into his captain's office and demand his touch and get this uncomfortable frustration out of the way once and for all. But he was just so tired, tired of plotting and planning and of failing. He was tired of falling on his face and looking so stupid not just in front of Ichimaru-taichou but all the other people who had gotten wrapped up in this mess along with him.

And it was just so much easier to stay here and work on paperwork where it was safe.

So that is what Kira did.

0000

About two hours later, Kira was still at his desk rewriting paperwork when Ichimaru-taichou emerged from his office with a languorous stretch. "I think ya've managed ta keep me 'ere long enough on a weekend, Izuru." He commented from across the room, rolling his head from side to side slowly to loosen sore muscles. Kira watched him do this, setting his brush down to regard his captain. "Think I'm gonna go relax fer a lil' while. Maybe take a nice long bath. A good soak is excellent fer takin' the edge off a week of stress, dontcha think so, Izuru? Maybe ya should think abou' doin' the same." He smiled in Kira's direction and when Kira made no response to his long stream of remarks he turned towards the door.

"Don' work too hard, Izuru. Dere's still work in da mornin' tomorrow too, ya know. It'll be Monday again." With that he left, leaving Kira to his own devices.

That's right, as of tomorrow it would have been a whole week since Ichimaru had confronted him at his desk and put it upon Kira to seduce him. It had been a whole week of frustration, misinterpretation, accidents and mistakes. Maybe Ichimaru-taichou was right, he needed a long bath.

Wait a minute, a long bath. Ichimaru was headed there and if Kira left now maybe he could—

Kira stood from his desk not even bothering to clean the ink out of his brush, a document sitting on his desk half done left suspended in mid-sentence.

He hurried out of the office and caught up enough to Ichimaru-taichou that he could see him in the distance, choosing to follow at a far enough gap that his captain hopefully couldn't sense that he was being followed. Kira was after all trying very hard to mask his reiatsu.

Kira followed him through twisting and turning paths of Seireitei in a direction that went out of the Third Division. Finally, his captain stopped in front of a building, opening the door and disappearing inside.

Kira lingered for a moment outside, at first hesitant about entering. A sign next to the door read:

_Private Bath House_

_Captains only._

This building was the bath house for all ranking officers in Seireitei. Each division had it's own much humbler bathing amenities but one of the perks of being in a seated position or higher was access to this bath house. However, captains had their own back entrance that supposedly led to a private bathing area, separate from the main floor. However Kira had never been in this entrance, after all, he wasn't a captain.

He was concerned about being seen. Maybe he could sneak around the Eleventh Division grounds unnoticed but all of the captains knew his face if not knew him personally. Thankfully, Kira's sense of logic was always with him, ready to answer any shadow of doubt.

There were only thirteen captains in all of Seireitei, what were the chances that more than one was using the bath houses in the middle of the day?

Kira was willing to take that gamble; he pushed open the door disappearing into the building.

Upon entering, he realized this might have been a mistake. He took off his sandals and tabi in the foyer. Fortunately he noticed that his assumption had been correct. There was only one other pair of abandoned sandals in the foyer, clearly belonging to Ichimaru-taichou. However he realized as he padded into the main entrance area that he had nothing with him for bathing. Thirteen recesses surrounded the walls of the circular room almost like a miniature model of the layout of Seireitei. Of course, his captain's box was empty; clearly in use and so Kira stood for a moment wondering what to do.

He glanced around for a second as if expecting he was being watched before sneaking over to the Thirteenth Division Captain's space and took from it a bar of soap and a comb he found there. He figured of any of the captains, given the off chance Ukitake-taichou decided to use the baths at this precise moment the kind shinigami, would be most likely to forgive his transgression.

Kira grabbed a washcloth from a stack of towels on his way through the next door into the changing room.

Upon entering he realized he should've entered more stealthily in case his captain was still in this area but like the previous room, no one was here. He saw Ichimaru-taichou's clothes hanging on a peg a little down the chamber and swiftly disrobed himself. Once naked he approached the sliding door into the baths quietly. He grabbed a wooden bucket that was sitting next to the door which he placed the washcloth and soap in and then slid the door open just enough to peek through.

The room was brightly lit and across the large open space he could see Ichimaru already sitting in the bath with his back thankfully to the door. Kira pushed the door open fully and stepped into the bathing area, shutting the door behind him. He held his bucket modestly over his crotch although his captain did not stir at the sound of the door.

Kira's heart pounded loudly in his ears in contrast to the soft sounds he made as he walked across the room to the washing faucets. Were he on his own time he would have usually put for the effort to wash thoroughly. However he was still nervous about another captain coming into the bath not to mention Ichimaru-taichou was sitting right there; didn't he hear the water running? Kira kept looking nervously over his shoulder as he rinsed the "borrowed" soap off of his body before rinsing the washcloth with colder water. He left the bucket by the faucets and carried only the washcloth with him which he once again draped in front of his crotch in some last ditch effort of modesty.

He approached Ichimaru from behind and slightly to the left. When he had gotten close he attempted to speak as evenly as he could. "I-Ichimaru-taichou…do you mind if I join you?" He asked lamely. At his name Ichimaru finally turned around, slanted eyes regarding the blond behind him.

"Hn? What'cha doin' here, Izuru?" His smile grew a little wider at the blond's blush. "Dis is a private bath, ya know? Cap'ns only er didja not read the sign?" He teased. Kira began to stammer an apology. "I'm only, kiddin', Izuru…I ain't gonna tell on ya. No need ta take it all so seriously." He chuckled a little and Kira's blush subsided, but only a shade. "Ya need ta loosen up more." He added as an after thought before turning back around with his back to Kira again.

Kira nodded and stepped to the side to ease slowly into the very hot water. He held the washcloth in front of himself until he had slipped into the water past his waist to sit about a meter from Ichimaru-taichou.

Ichimaru smirked a bit at Kira's seemingly misplaced modesty. He supposed a week of little to no contact with the blond had hurt his little vice-captain more than he would have at first thought. Kira paid Ichimaru's smirk no mind and folded the washcloth on his head which was still cold from the water he had washed it with.

Kira sighed and let his eyes slide shut as the feeling of the hot water started to work wonders on the stress he hadn't even known he'd been carrying. Of course, sitting even this close to Ichimaru _naked_ for the first time in a week was doing other things to his concentration but Kira tried not to dwell on that lest his thoughts permutate in a visible way.

Silence stretched out like an eternity between them. Kira wasn't sure what to say but luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Ichimaru-taichou always had something to say. "Water sure feels nice, eh Izuru?" He said trying to coax conversation out of the blond that had been rather lacking not only in this moment but throughout the entire week.

"Yes, Taichou. It's very relaxing." He commented, nodding a little.

"Jus' feels like it could wash away all da stresses of the week, don't it?" He gestured with one hand, disturbing the calm surface of the water. "Ya don' look very relax'd tho'…" He remarked with a light frown. Kira was looking off into the distance towards the other side of the bath but he could see out of the corner of his eye Ichimaru-taichou turning more to face him.

"I've just got a lot on my mind." Kira answered truthfully with a sigh.

"Well ya know, sometimes da best cure fer a busy mind is an idle body. Ya gotta just loosen up an' let it all go…jus' _feel_ what's around ya." Perhaps it was the sensual tone with which Ichimaru spoke amplified by the sedative mood of the bath but Kira shivered lightly at those words.

Then again it could have also been the thin, bony hand that had now migrated to his shoulder. Kira wasn't sure when Ichimaru-taichou had moved closer but when he turned his head to look at his captain he seemed so much closer than before.

"Maybe ya jus' need help getting 'dere, eh?" He squeezed Kira's shoulder a little harder than was comfortable and Kira hissed softly. "Ooo, ya've got a lotta tension built up back 'ere. I could try 'n get some'a that out fer ya, would ya like that, Izuru?"

Another hand joined the first on Kira's other shoulder unbidden and Kira sighed when those hands gently dug into his skin. "Yes, Taichou…" He spoke softly and he could see the smirk in his minds eye combined with the sound of disturbed water as Ichimaru moved closer.

Ichimaru offered no verbal response and instead kneaded his fingers into the back of Kira's shoulders again and again, pressing the heels of his hands into Kira's back moving in an outward pattern. Kira let out a shaky sigh under the firm touch. He was positively lost in the relaxing warmth of the more innocent side of his captain's talented hands.

"Tha' feel good, Izuru?" He asked conversationally. Kira's breath hitched when Ichimaru's thumbs pressed into a particularly tense knot, massaging over it lightly with his other fingers in contrast.

Kira buckled a little, arching forward. He surprisingly managed to catch the washcloth that slipped off of his forehead and set it down without a second thought on the edge of the bath. Those hands continued a slow rhythm of kneading into his back and it was taking all of Kira's strength to keep from panting let alone be able to muster the strength to speak. "Ah…yes Tai—" Ichimaru's thumbs pushed hard into the back of his neck right below the first bump of his spine and Kira let out an unrestrained groan. "Oh god…Taichou."

Kira wondered absently if he could get off on these touches alone. The effects of his captain's hands were already mutating into a steadily growing erection spurred on the sounds escaping his own mouth that were decidedly not innocent.

"Ya sure got a lotta pressure built up back 'ere. Surprised it hasn't…exploded yet~" His hands pushed rhythmically into Kira's shoulders, slowly moving lower to accentuate every word. Kira brought a hand in front of his mouth to try and conceal the noise he was making. "No need ta hol' back, Izuru. Jus' let it go…" His hands slid across the skin stretched taut over Kira's back pushing ever towards the center of the blond's spine.

"Please, Taichou…" Kira all but moaned, leaning forward a little to allow Ichimaru better range and also to hide the evidence of the touch's effect on his body.

"Whaddya wan', Izuru~?" His voice lilted playing with the syllables of Kira's name, his hands kneading his back in small handfuls up towards his shoulders again.

"Just-just stop for a second…" He said and shifted a little out of Ichimaru's grasp. Ichimaru couldn't help and hide his displeasure at the blond's actions with a small frown.

"I do somethin' wrong?" He said all innocence and childish helplessness. Kira turned and gave him a withered expression.

Ichimaru's hands settled again somewhere in the vicinity of his lap beneath the surface of the water. His smile was surprisingly more serene than usual, lacking in the sarcastic edges that usually clung to the sides of his face.

"No, Ichimaru-taichou…I just—" He couldn't think of the words he was trying to say. So instead he edged a little closer to his captain and almost timidly covered those smiling lips with his own. No matter how chaste, the kiss felt searingly hot; a combination of the warm water that surrounded them and the frustration of too many kisses too few and far between in the last week.

Kira's moved with a forceful insistence against Ichimaru's lips and he was too delighted at the dominance the blond showed to not allow Kira to press his tongue into his mouth. It was Kira though who groaned at the sensation sidling closer to Ichimaru as their tongues slid together in the shared space of their mouths. Kira's hands traced first up to hold the sides of Ichimaru's face lightly and then he was boldly moving to climb into his captain's lap. Ichimaru let him do so and once the blond was settled his hands came to settle on half-submerged hips, kneading greedily into supple skin as he had with Kira's shoulders.

Kira pressed his body against Ichimaru's and the blond's hard erection pressed against the other's stomach. Kira broke the kiss with a sound between a groan and a whimper to which Ichimaru took a sharp intake of breath.

Kira's eyes fluttered open slowly which he hadn't even realized he had closed. The sight he was met with was enough to steal away what little breath he was struggling to regain.

Ichimaru reclined slightly against the edge of the bath, one arm propped up on the stone mouth of it, the other arm still possessively slung around the blond's hip. His red eyes were open fully, all severity and danger with a strong undercurrent of barely held in check lust.

Kira shivered lightly under that gaze, only able to meet such an intense look for a few seconds before dropping his vision to the pale expanse of his captain's chest. Ichimaru's hand trailed slowly up his hip and then away to grasp Kira's hand that fell lamely to his side.

"Seems ta me yer wound up in more'an jus one way." He said barely above a whisper as if in respect for the mood that had fallen over them. Kira scoffed a little because his captain always stated the obvious, even when it was so painfully true.

"Hn, maybe I am." Kira commented. His other hand that wasn't tangled with Ichimaru's reached between their bodies and beneath the water to palm Ichimaru's half-hard sex. "But I don't think I'm the only one." He said figuring two could play at the obvious game.

That hand did not stop its ministrations even as that classic grin spread back over Ichimaru's face and his eyes slid shut again and he tried to speak. "Naa, ya just have tha' kinda—hn! Effect on me, Izuru…" His words came out with a half restrained biting strength that did more to embolden Kira than the struggling lilt to his captain's voice.

"I guess I might have to do something about that." Kira said lowly. Ichimaru loved it when he got this way. Sex did one of two things to Kira; either it turned him dark and masculine; all grunts of exertion and low, husky tones. Or it made him feminine; with every touch to pale white skin bringing gasps and moans out of him that Ichimaru wasn't sure he'd ever heard a woman match the high pitch of. But it was like this that he liked Kira best, when he could hear the danger and power in his tone; no matter how real or imagined that power actually was.

"Ya'd _better_." Ichimaru said with a cant of his hips up into Kira's hand. To Kira a hand seemed to appear out of nowhere on his erection and he moaned loudly when that hand formed a loose cage for him to thrust up in to. Kira's chin settled on his captain's shoulder, breath coming in short puffs against his heated skin and ear. Ichimaru tightened his grip on Kira's sex a little and the blond cried out, burying his head in the crook of his captain's neck. He tried his best to keep up a pleasing rhythm with his own hand on Ichimaru's cock but the sensations flooding through his system were really too much for him to handle more than thrusting upwards mindlessly and panting into the smooth expanse of skin before him.

Ichimaru did not so much hear or see the door slide open as much as he felt the stern, controlled flow of reiatsu drift into the room. Kira heard nothing over the sound of his own moaning and Ichimaru's ragged breath in his ear.

Sightless eyes rested on the couple in the bath. "Ichimaru."

Kira nearly fell off of Ichimaru in surprise, jumping away from him as if he was on fire. His reiatsu flared in his shock and when he looked up to notice that their intruder was Tousen-taichou it was too late to try and mask it again. He averted his eyes almost immediately in embarrassment because of course, Tousen was naked.

"One does not need eyes, Ichimaru, to know that this guest's presence is unacceptable." Tousen said evenly and Kira reflexively sank deeper into the bath as if that could save him from the probing feel of the other captain's reiatsu that was straining like hands on his skin to place Kira's identity.

'Yeah, butcha do need eyes ta know what we were doin'…' Ichimaru thought with a defiant smirk. "Maa, I just invited him fer a lil' soak Tousen…tai...chou~" He enunciated the last syllables of Tousen's title because he knew well enough that the darker man hated the playful tone ever present in his voice. He said it did not inspire trust and honor; really Ichimaru didn't care. Ichimaru reached out to stroke Kira's cheek lightly and Kira flinched, giving Ichimaru a frightened look that he would still act this way in another's presence.

"Guests are not permitted." Tousen addressed Ichimaru directly for the last time instead turning his sightless gaze in the direction of Kira. "Kira, you are a man of good standing with law and order, surely you understand your transgression."

It took Kira a moment to respond and it seemed to him that Ichimaru was going to say something to the effect of 'pick on someone your own size' given the frown on his face but Kira spoke before his captain could voice his complaint. "I'm deeply sorry, Tousen-taichou. I deserve no forgiveness." He said in the most formal speech he could muster at the moment. He was after all still battling the only slightly flagging erection he had been tending to just moments before.

In the time between Kira's apology and whatever Tousen-taichou's verdict was to be, Ichimaru leaned close to speak into Kira's ear. The feel of that hot breath in his ear was enough to bring his erection back to throbbing life let alone the words that were spoken.

"Yer gonna leave, Izuru? An' I was all ready ta say ya'd won an' give ya what ya want too…" He whined and it took all of Kira's strength to not moan at the power those words had on him. He got away with a shiver as Ichimaru withdrew to a more respectable distance.

Then Kira remembered that Tousen-taichou was still mulling over his judgment. "I believe you to be a man of your word, Kira. Your misbehavior is forgiven if you will correct the wrong you have committed." He spoke slowly, each word with obvious deliberation as if the thought of excusing such a misdeed were unthinkable but against his better judgment he was making an exception.

Kira knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth and despite his _own better judgment_ he got out of the bath, holding the washcloth he had abandoned earlier to his privates despite the blindness of his and Ichimaru's guest. He wanted so desperately to stay but knew it was utterly out of the question and the forces that pulled at either end of the equation were slowly tearing him apart at the seams.

Tousen moved slightly out of the way of the door allowing space for Kira to move and pick up his bucket from earlier as well. "Return Ukitake's things to the proper place as well, Kira." Kira nearly jumped at Tousen's words and hurried faster out of the room wondering just how the Captain had figured that out without the use of his sight. Kira slid the door open and closed swiftly and he was gone.

"Ichimaru."

Ichimaru sighed. "Naa, ya must be hangin' out more wit' Aizen-taichou, Kaname-san. Yer getting' good at ruinin' ma fun."

"If it involves breaking laws it will always be my duty to stop your fun." He responded coldly, heading over to the faucets to wash. Behind him Ichimaru chuckled darkly.

"But is was fer a betta' good, ya know? Ya'd know a little abou' breakin' da rules fer tha'…wouldncha?"

Tousen did not dignify that with any sort of response. He washed quickly and then stepped into the bath, sitting a good way away from the fox-faced captain.

"Speaking of Aizen-taichou, has he spoken with you as of late?" Tousen asked, but it was hardly conversational.

Ichimaru frowned. "Not abou' anythin' I'm at liberty ta share wit' others…~" Ichimaru teased, his fingers drawing light circles in the surface of the water. He was truly sorry for the loss of Kira's presence; he made much better company in a bath than his current company.

"Very well, I will have to ask him myself."

Had Tousen not been blind, he would have been privy to a very rare sight. Ichimaru's eyes had opened slightly into a hauntingly dangerous slant that he usually only reserved for people he was about to tear to pieces with a flourish of Shinsou. As it were, his voice came out barely controlled and possessive. "Ya won' get a thing outta him."

As he could only go by verbal cue and the suddenly tenser feel of reiatsu pulled taut and reigned in his reply was perhaps a little cocky. "We'll see."

0000

Back in his quarters, Kira couldn't find the strength to do really anything.

It was still very early, too early to go to sleep and his mind raced with what could have been back in the bath house. He didn't want to hate Tousen-taichou, his honor wouldn't _let_ him hate Tousen-taichou.

But if Ichimaru would have told him he was going to murder the other captain for them to keep from being disturbed, Kira didn't think he would have had the heart to stop him.

It was perhaps all the hyperbole of his overworked, past-the-point-of-no-return stressed out and above all else sexually repressed body but Kira couldn't deny the ounce of truth he found in those thoughts.

He didn't have the heart to put his uniform on and go seek out Renji or Hisagi for a drink although he felt he desperately needed one. The presence of anyone other than his captain at this point would probably only exacerbate his growing need to just be _touched_ by those ghostly white, bony hands.

…And his captain's hands had always been _so talented_.

For about the millionth time since he had returned, he looked at the clock on his desk wondering if his captain was back in his quarters yet. Would Tousen-taichou actually want to talk to him? Kira rather doubted it since most of the other captains (with the exception of Aizen-taichou) seemed to avoid Ichimaru like he carried the plague.

But diseased or not, Kira required that man with him now above any other person in all the Gotei 13. Let Hinamori and Matsumoto call it needy even if they had the object of his affections a little off it was true, but Kira couldn't bring himself to care because the need overpowered all other emotions.

Kira didn't care what time it was, he was going to his captain's quarters now whether the man was there or not.

He got up from the floor where he had been lying; he'd tried lying down on his futon but he hadn't been sleepy, and walked over to his closet sifting through the contents for something to wear.

His uniform was in a crumpled pile on the floor, he had taken it off almost as soon as he had walked through the door and he didn't feel like putting it back on. The spring night air blowing in through his open window felt cool against his naked skin and so he selected from the drawer a dark green kimono made of heavy cotton that had a subtle bamboo pattern on it.

Kira grabbed an obi of dark brown and tied it quickly, only faltering once because his mind was in such a different place than tying clothing despite how well he knew each step. He straightened the front a little and then went to the door to retrieve his tabi and the sandals he had cast off at the door.

He couldn't have recalled even if he tried the things that ran through his mind at a million miles an hour as he walked the familiar paths around the Third Division. Before he could even fathom it he was standing at his captain's quarters and knocking on the door. His captain answered the door after a moment, dressed in just the white and black kosode of his uniform as if he had been in the process of undressing when his visitor arrived.

"Izuru…well dis is unexpected." He drawled and Kira wasn't sure whether or not it was sarcasm. His captain moved from the door frame giving him space to enter.

Ichimaru slid the door shut and within the well lit space of what was his captain's living room Kira could feel his eyes on him.

"Festival clothes?" Ichimaru chuckled, "But we ain't goin' to anotha' festival fer a few months, Izuru…"

Kira blushed a little but his resolve was past the point of falling on its face now. "Would you have preferred I had come in nothing at all?" He asked frankly. Perhaps it was his imagination, but he thought he heard Ichimaru audibly shiver and then there were cold arms draped around his neck and shoulders.

"S'ppose ya coulda done tha'…be cold tho' wouldn' it? Yer shihakushou woulda been jus' fine…." His voice was low in Kira's ear making idle conversation towards no specific point.

"Taichou…" He breathed and then pulled away from Ichimaru to face him. "I'm sorry, sir, I just can't play this game anymore…" He looked genuinely sorry, usually so expressive blue eyes were focused solely on the pattern of the tatami beneath his feet. "I'm just all out of good ideas as to how to…seduce you." He said the last part slowly; the words seemed so odd coming out of his mouth. "I don't expect you to accept this…but I beg you! Please…just take me as I am. I can't—I can't do this anymore…"

He fell to his knees in a humbled, degenerate heap. Kira's forehead touched the floor in as low a bow as was possible short of lying on the floor.

Ichimaru's smile was softer than his usual smirk, not that Kira could see it from his position of examining the straw of the tatami. He squatted in front of the blonde, two fingers reaching out to tilt Kira's head up off the floor to meet his gaze.

"Ya neva' had ta do nothin' special fer me, Izuru. Yer cute jus' on yer own." Kira looked confusedly at his captain, then off to the side and then back to that smile.

"But, I thought I had to be like you and—"

Ichimaru waved his other hand that wasn't holding Kira's face dismissively. "Psh, nah…If I wanted ta be seduced by maself I woulda made a pass at Aizen-taichou." He said with a sly smile but Kira wasn't exactly sure how to take that.

Had Aizen done anything to Ichimaru? It made him a little uneasy to think about it, especially when he felt so vulnerable here in his captain's embrace. He chose to beat those demons away with a kind smile.

"See? Now tha's the cute lil' Izuru ya know I like~" Kira sat up a little more until he was a little less than eye level with his captain. The hand that had been tipping his head dropped to the upper edge of his obi, playing lightly with the textured brown silk.

"Really?" Kira implored.

Ichimaru was getting a little sick of praising his vice-captain; it wasn't usually in his nature, but he figured Kira needed it and he was willing, at least a little, to indulge.

"'Course I wouldn' mind ma innocent lil' fukutaichou all done up in those clothes ya were in yesterday neither…" He wasn't surprised when a blush tinted Kira's cheeks at his suggestion but the blond still maintained that sweet smile and looked up to meet his eyes. Or at least would have met his eyes were they open but it was the act of really looking at his captain that impressed Ichimaru.

Maybe Kira really had gained some confidence out of all this.

However there was a long moment of silence which grew tenser and tenser until Kira finally averted his eyes. "I-Ichimaru-taichou…I came here to ask—" The blond was silenced by a thin finger pressed lightly to his lips.

"I heard ya the firs' time, Izuru. I think we both kno' why yer here anyways. Got some unfinished buziness from the bath earlia', nee?" The blush deepened across Kira's face but that embarrassment did not stop him from parting his lips slightly to draw that finger poised at his mouth into that warm cavern to graze lightly against the tip.

"Hn." Ichimaru smirked when he pulled his finger away and Kira leaned forward towards that retreating hand. There was another almost too sweet smile and it didn't take a genius to read Kira's expression. There was so much need and want built up that it had driven him to come all the way here, to say the things he had said and put action to those plans throughout the week. But deep down he was still the same vice-captain Ichimaru knew.

Above all else those eyes said he had little confidence in his own ability. Even now he was waiting patiently for Ichimaru-taichou to close the distance between them. He finally did and couldn't suppress the smirk of satisfaction at the contented sigh from Kira that escaped in between their lips.

No, Kira hadn't changed at all, he thought as those tentative lips pushed against his own only darting his tongue out to tangle with his captain's when he felt the other's tongue brush against his lips for entrance. Ichimaru wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that he hadn't really learned his lesson.

But then Kira made that high pitched whimpering noise through his nose as Ichimaru all but occupied the entire space of his mouth with darting tongue and the sound of it made him want to take the blonde all the more.

He decided with a certain finality that he liked it better this way anyway.

Kira's hands clutched desperately to Ichimaru's shoulders as they kissed. He felt Ichimaru shift slightly to kneel on the floor with Kira making the angle of their kiss easier. Kira's tongue slid in delicate patterns against the other mans making the heady feeling of pleasure spin higher and higher out of control. Kissing Ichimaru always felt this way but with the addition of the unusually long length of time between their couplings as of late Kira felt all the more overwhelmed with anticipation and lust. The heavy cotton he had worn to keep out the cold suddenly felt too warm and too close for the heat that rushed through his body when Ichimaru's hands settled on his waist, kneading into too thin sides.

He let out a sigh into Ichimaru's mouth and the other pulled away to nip and lick at the shell of Kira's ear.

"Hah…nnnm-taichou…please!" Kira moaned as Ichimaru's hands crawled all over the small of his back, working open the obi that held him back from viewing Kira's skin. Ichimaru had buried his face in Kira's neck, grazing teeth lightly over his pulse point.

"Whaddya want, Izuru?" His innocent tone was shaded darker with the hint of lust there that Kira picked up on contentedly. He chuckled at Izuru's only response; a reedy moan when Ichimaru's lips sucked hard on the spot he had just been teasing. "Ya wan' me ta take ya? Righ' here on ma livin' room floor?" He eyed the contents of the room, "or wouldja prefer it on tha' table ova' there?"

Kira shivered and blushed. Ichimaru continued to lap at his neck where a spot was growing dark with his attention making it all the harder for Kira to respond. He blushed. "Can..can we do it in—ah!" Ichimaru's hand grabbed his rear a little possessively, "Can we do it in your room?…Ichimaru-taichou."

Ichimaru pulled back much to Kira's mixed relief and disappointment. "A'right bu' if we do ya gotta do something' fer me in return…Think of it as a sorta…payment fer me takin' ova' fer ya." He drawled, pulling at Kira's obi again which he had worked open to hang loosely wrapped several times around his waist. Kira couldn't hide the worry on his face at his captain's words. Whatever he was hinting at Kira knew it couldn't bode well for him. He didn't have to think on it to long as Ichimaru finally continued. "No more a' this 'Ichimaru-taichou' this er 'Taichou' that. Yer gonna say ma firs' name when ya address me, a'righ'?"

Kira was slightly hesitant. "A-all night?" Kira questioned knowing from the stern look Ichimaru-taichou was giving him that the answer was obvious. Usually Ichimaru had to all but force Kira to use his personal name; something about using it, even when there were in rather personal settings unnerved Kira and made it all the more difficult to say.

Ichimaru read Kira's face as easily as one of Hinamori's gay erotica novels. "I 'no ya don't like ta…Bu' tha's ma only rule." He wagged a finger at Kira, before trailing it down his cheek in a mixture or contemplation and sensuality. "Don' worry tho'," hi eyes slipped open and he fixed Kira with a knowing glance, "I'll give ya a reason ta be screamin' it."

Kira moaned at the insinuation and lips closed over his again, crashing together like harsh waves in a storm. Too soon for his taste Ichimaru was pulling away and standing up.

"Ya comin', Izuru?" He asked, bending over a bit at the blond still sitting on the floor.

Kira nodded and tried to stand up. His obi started to fall off, threatening to take his kimono with it and so he placed a hand on his waist to hold it in place and moved to follow his captain who had already walked off to disappear into his bedroom.

Once inside, Kira closed the sliding door and a hand yanked hard on the strip of brown fabric Kira held to his waist, wrenching it from his grip. The obi slipped more and loosened until Ichimaru let it go and it thumped to the floor. Instantly Kira's kimono fell slightly open, just enough to reveal a long strip of white flesh all the way down his front.

"So we're in ma room. Where'dja have in mind exac'ly?" Ichimaru cooed; all innocence back in his voice as if he had no idea what Kira wanted them in his room for.

"Um…on your bed, Ichima—" he was interrupted by an accusatory finger and a sharp tutting noise his captain made, "Gin…" he corrected.

A smile instantly replaced that critical expression. "Maa, Izuru's so boring….Not even up agains' the wall?" He intoned and the blond blushed as Ichimaru closed in on him, pressing him up against the wall with the weight of his body in shameless suggestion.

"That's alright…" Kira shivered as Ichimaru pushed the kimono from Kira's shoulders and it pooled on the floor. His hands settled comfortably on Ichimaru's waist as his captain closed in on his neck again, this time on the opposite side from the dark reddish purple mark on Kira's pale skin. Ichimaru's hands roamed the blond's chest affectionately, hips grinding none too subtly into Kira's side. Kira let out a low moan and widened his stance against the wall a little bit to allow Ichimaru to slip a leg between his own. The inside of his naked thigh rubbed deliciously against Ichimaru and he clung tighter to his captain.

Suddenly the leg between his own was removed but before Kira could protest he saw Ichimaru bending over to kiss his shoulder, then his clavicle, down the center of his chest then detour to the side to lap at a pert, pink nipple while thin fingers ghosted over its twin.

Kira took in sharp breath as that hand left his chest, trailing down in a mock game of Itsy Bitsy Spider to join his other hand at Kira's hips. Ichimaru's mouth switched to sucking hard on the nub his hand had just abandoned. Kira's hands hung lamely at his sides trying to grip the plain wall for purchase but when Ichimaru's teeth instead grazed over that sensitive flesh Kira cried out, hands instantly threading through fine, silver hair.

Kira's heavy breathing turned into a low strangled moan as one of his captain's hands left his hip to palm firmly at his already hard erection straining against the thin white fabric of his fundoshi. That teasing hand backed off a little in pressure to stroke gently in counter rhythm to the tongue torturing Kira's nipple making it virtually impossible for Kira to _not_ think about what that tongue would have felt like elsewhere.

He didn't have to imagine it for long. Although Kira's eyes were squeezed closed tight he could feel Ichimaru abandoning his nipple in favor of drawing an intricate pattern down his chest as his captain sank to his knees. Kira shuddered deeply as those hands untangled the back of his fundoshi, straying over bare butt cheeks with far too light touches. Ichimaru mouthed the front of the white fabric with open carnality, tongue rubbing wonderfully against the rough fabric. Kira's head thunked back against the wall and the low moan followed. The blond's hands gripped tightly at his shoulders to keep from falling forward in the heady sensation, his legs shaking.

"Ha-ahh…Taichou…please!" He begged, squeezing the man's shoulders needily through the fabric of his captain's loosening kosode. He groaned when Ichimaru pulled away entirely to look up at Kira through half lidded eyes, frowning. Those red eyes had turned darker by open desire yet still held their severe dangerousness.

"If ya wan' this, Izuru, ya gotta at leas' play the game…" He whined and his head was still so close too Kira's need, _too close_ that he groaned again at the feeling hoping to entice his captain back to what he had been doing.

Ichimaru was not having any of it despite the fact that Kira's desperate noises were affecting him. He resisted the growing need to touch himself through his clothing and instead shot Kira a mock -innocent look. "Maa, Izuru, jus' say ma name…bein' overly difficult 'bout this'll getcha kicked out again~…"

Kira stiffened a bit at that and his loosened fundoshi slipped down another inch, revealing smooth hips and the beginning of fine blond curls. "G-gin…" He managed, legs beginning to quake again, "p-please, I need you…" His voice was barely above a whisper and hardly more than a suggestion at what he wanted. He shook his hips a little in an attempt to be a little more direct and Ichimaru smirked widely.

"Alwayz so obedient, ma lil' Izuru." He nuzzled Kira's crotch in mock affection, fundoshi slipping down a little further. His hands slithered back up Kira's pale thighs, thin fingers hooking around the sides of the twisted white cloth and yanking the final piece of clothing apart to puddle at Kira's feet in a long tangled ribbon with his discarded kimono. The blond blushed for the sake of his nudity under his captain's searing gaze and his eyes slid shut not wanting to meet that stare for too long. Ichimaru chortled quietly. He paid Kira's tightly screwed shut eyes little mind as he wrapped one hand languidly around the erection in front of his face. Kira let out a shivered sigh as Ichimaru stroked him which turned into an uncontrolled moan when a tongue darted out to lick away the liquid gathering at the tip.

He added a bit more pressure with his tongue, swirling around the tip before licking up and down the entire length. A hand flew from Ichimaru's shoulder up to his own mouth to stifle a punctuated gasp as lips descended over the tip and tongue swirled around the ridge of the head of his cock. Ichimaru's hands moved to steady the blond's hips and give him better purchase as his mouth slid over hard but smooth as velvet flesh. He bobbed his head on Kira's length bringing it a little further into his mouth with each intake. Ichimaru's tongue drew intricate patterns along the underside, pressing hard against the visible vein running up the middle. Ichimaru pushed Kira farther into his mouth and then down his throat, easily suppressing his gag reflex as Kira whispered a string of curses.

Kira's whole body felt on fire and even around his hand he panted and whimpered breathily at each bob of his captain's head. Kira had managed to open his eyes just a little and the sight was enough to make him moan Ichimaru's name—his first name, he was trying _so_ hard to be good—in the form of a breathy plea. At the sound of his name, red eyes flashed up to meet Kira's own, lips forming a tight smirk around the base of his erection. Kira shakily placed a hand at the back of Ichimaru's head, carding through fine strands of liquid silver.

He began to move his head again over Kira's erection and the blond moaned at the renewed sensation. So wrapped up in the feel of that incredible mouth Kira hardly realized the quickening of his breath or the slow crescendo of his moans as Ichimaru brought him hurtling closer to his release. Suddenly, he was pulling away entirely and Kira groaned as he had been so _so _close and now the painful need for relief was worse than ever.

"G-Gin?" He questioned at length as his captain just sat there, leaning back on his hands to observe Kira's nudity as he stood unmoved against the wall.

"Yer close righ'? But yer doin' such a good job followin' the rules howz-about ya get down here with me an' I give ya whatcha really want, hm?" Ichimaru suggested in a playful tone. Kira noticed how slurred his speech had become even from its usual level of incomprehensibility and knew that meant his captain was equally aroused.

Kira obeyed silently and slipped past Ichimaru who remained sitting on the floor as Kira maneuvered over to his captain's soft mattress. He sat for a moment with his back to his captain as he heard movement behind him, the sound of a chest opening, stuff being moved about and then shut. Kira lay down on his stomach on forearms and knees knowing it was the position Ichimaru wanted him in. He rearranged the pillow under his arms nervously as he could hear the sound of clothes shifting over flesh; a sign that Ichimaru-taichou was disrobing with his usual precision and grace.

He felt the other man's weight fall to the bed and then there was a gentle prod with strong hands on the blond's inner thighs urging his legs further apart. Kira shook slightly in anticipation, repositioning himself to his captain's likings. Thin hands settled on his bottom and spread pale cheeks.

He gasped loudly when the thing that teased his entrance was decidedly not a long thin finger. It felt much too warm, wet and just too big to be those smooth pale digits. The wet heat came again this time brushing all along the crack and he could feel ticklish strands of silver hair ghosting against his backside. He moaned and buried his head in the pillow upon realizing it was his captain's tongue that now teased his entrance. This was an entirely new feeling for Kira and as that tongue ran hard over the ridges of his puckered hole whatever sounds he had been able to bottle up before were wrenched from his control.

Kira all but screamed when the tip of that tongue penetrated him, swirling around the tight entrance before pushing shallowly in and out in short sharp pulses.

Kira buried his head further into the pillow. He could feel the heat of a permanent blush creeping over his face and down his neck as Ichimaru moved one hand from parting Kira to glide across the sensitive skin between his entrance and balls and stroke mercilessly.

The blond's breath came in short gasps. He had to lift his head up off the pillow again for fear of suffocating. He knew he was very close and tried to clear his throat to warn Ichimaru but that tongue was still writing inside of him in a way that felt full in such a different and wonderful way and the words died in his throat in the form of a groan.

"Ha! Ah…oh, gods please!" He finally managed enough air to beg although he wasn't sure what he was begging for exactly. The hand still on his hip pulled Kira back further towards that talented mouth and the blond saw spots behind his vision as he came all over his stomach and the sheets below with a low moan of satisfaction. He sagged against the soft sheets, coming down from his high. He could feel Ichimaru shifting and then moving Kira bonelessly to lie on his back, head against the pillows.

Ichimaru slid up beside him; cool skin an ironic contrast to Kira's over-heated body. His hand played idly and almost affectionately with Kira's disheveled bangs. Kira's eyes fluttered open which he hadn't realized had been previously closed. Ichimaru-taichou filled the entirety of his vision, hovering over him with a smile.

"Ya like tha', Izuru?" He asked, burying his head in Kira's shoulder and licking the sweat that collected in the hollow of his shoulder; Kira shuddered. "I didn' even have ta touch ya~" He added with a pleased lilt.

Kira wasn't sure how to respond other than the sharp blush that colored his cheeks. Ichimaru's hands roamed his sides and settled on his hips. Kira was slightly ashamed to realize his body was already beginning to respond to the continuous touch. Ichimaru seemed to notice too which only heightened Kira's embarrassment as he had now shifted to being entirely on top of the blond instead of just leaning over him. He settled between slightly parted milky colored thighs, pushing them farther apart with his knees. Kira aided him readily lifting his legs and spreading them wide making the silver haired man chuckle darkly.

"Maa, Izuru's always so compliant…But yer not too good at sayin' whatcha want, are ya?" That ever present smile stayed fixed on his face as a hand cascaded his thin frame and wrapped resolutely around his half hard cock dragging a strangled moan from the blond.

"Please…" He began between pants, the hand thankfully leaving his erection to allow him to think but moments later those fingers circled his entrance instead. "Hah-ah….I need you…in me." He said barely above a mumble. "Gin…" He added half as an afterthought and half as a quiet plea as those fingers, two at a time pressed into him and filled him.

The fingers moved in and out of him in swift precision, joined by a third only a few seconds later when Kira began pushing back against the intrusion. Ichimaru removed his fingers and moved to kneel between Kira's spread legs. He pulled over with him a small vial of clear liquid which he had retrieved earlier from the chest. He spread some of the contents over his erection as Kira watched with rapt attention, a look of knowing anticipation written in his expression.

Ichimaru repositioned Kira once again, leaning over the blond to nip lightly at his neck. To his surprise one of Kira's arms wrapped around Ichimaru's back the other reaching out to clasp Ichimaru's own hand braced against the bed. The action was perhaps a little too affectionate for his own taste, but Kira was begging again in small, breathy, whispered pleas as his cock brushed against the cleft of his ass.

Ichimaru pushed in in one fluid motion with a softly repressed sigh that made Kira shudder to the very core. He scrambled for better purchase on Ichimaru's shoulder, squeezing his captain's clenched fist a little harder. Ichimaru began a torturously slow pace, pulling nearly completely out before slamming back into Kira with a force that knocked the wind out of him in the form of a groan. His legs wrapped loosely around Ichimaru's waist trying to pull him closer and into a faster more satisfying rhythm.

Ichimaru obliged him with a faster pace and the added angle of Kira's legs wrapped around his waist caused him push against the blond's prostate on the next thrust in. Kira openly yelled, unable to repress the sound. However the unrestrained noises were soon silenced by Ichimaru's mouth covering Kira's to swallow those sounds in an openly carnal kiss. His hips slammed into Kira again and again in an established rhythm as their tongues came together in a conversely slow pace to the speed of their joining. Ichimaru's groans and small sounds of pleasure were growing in volume in between their kisses indicating to Kira that his captain was close. His hand which had been gripping Ichimaru's shoulder moved between their joined bodies to touch his own weeping erection to bring himself with Ichimaru.

Ichimaru could feel Kira's knuckles brush against his stomach with each thrust down into the blond. He couldn't see his movements but when he pulled away from Kira's mouth to look at him the blond had his eyes screwed tightly closed with pursed lips, breathing hard through his nose. Ichimaru shifted his to support his weight on the forearm of his hand joined with Kira's and reached between them to join Kira's hand on his erection. The blond made a quick intake of breath and squeezed Ichimaru's hand. To Ichimaru's own surprise, he squeezed back.

Their hands picked up pace as Ichimaru made a few more sharp thrusts into Kira, coming with a low, shuddered groan. He continued to move in shallow thrusts partially to ride out all of the strong orgasm raking his body and partially for Kira's own benefit. The blond came again a moment later with a hoarse cry of his captain's name. His muscles tightened around Ichimaru as he did making the older shinigami's head swim slightly at the strong sensation during such sensitivity.

He pulled away from Kira, detangling his hand from Kira's cock and licking slowly and deliberately at the sticky liquid covering it. Kira who was coming down from his own high opened his eyes to this sight and blushed furiously. When Ichimaru finished with his own hand he reached for Kira's to lick a few errant drops from his fingertips.

Kira wasn't sure of anything to say being rather fully sated and now rather sleepy after such activities. Ichimaru finally let go of his hand, judging it fairly clean and shifted off of Kira to fall on his back beside the blond.

Kira waited a beat before moving onto his side to lay his head on his captain's chest. A hand came to pet the back of his head in a fairly affectionate manner.

"Can I stay the night, Taichou?" Kira asked sheepishly, lifting his head a little to look at his captain. His eyes were closed in their usual way; that smirk once again in place albeit with a slightly content edge to it.

"Maa I s'ppose…But ya gotta let me sleep. Got a Cap'n's meeting in the mornin' ya know…" Ichimaru answered and for a second Kira was a little puzzled.

"Huh?"

"It's Sunday, Izuru, Sunday. Tomorra mornin's Monday." Ichimaru answered simply.

Kira had forgotten entirely what day it was. He had been so wrapped up in the daily pursuits of his captain he had barely realized the passage of an entire week past the semi-conscious recognition of a new day. He snuggled a little closer to Ichimaru-taichou, breathing in the sweet scent of his captain mixed with the cathartic smell of sex. He didn't want to have to get up tomorrow morning and go to work, he knew for a fact he would be sore from such aggressive activities; but more than that he didn't want to leave the warmth being this close to the other man brought.

Yet at the same time all he had ever wanted was to have back the solace he found in the other man's embrace and to be back in the light of his favor. Having achieved both these things Kira couldn't help but be at least a little more confident.

Bring it on, Monday.

0000

A/N: Twenty-two pages like whoa guys…Hopefully it was worth the longer wait. A lot of work went into this chapter not to mention this whole fic but it was so much fun to write. Perhaps this chapter turned out a little bit more sentimental than most would portray Ichimaru but I think there are many angles to their relationship that all exist in alternate roads of reality. This is just one possibility and only one avenue of their relationship I have explored. I plan to travel far more ways of the Silver Path ::gets shot for Bleach Musical references:: …Anyway, I was originally going to have it be Byakuya who walked in on them in the bath and then I had a thought: I was only going to talk about law and propriety with him which I could just as easily do with Tousen. Plus then I could crack blind jokes, and those make everything instantly ten times funnier…. Hope everyone liked the hilarity and the sex and see you all again some time soon! Thanks for reading and tell me what you think. Reviews make writing over 75 pages so worth it!!


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